Ravi Kamatrappa was sitting in my waiting room. He had made an appointment with Pat a week
ago for 10am. It was now 2:30 pm and I
had no intention of letting Ravi in my office before the close of business. He had told Pat that he wanted to apologize
and beg my forgiveness. He also claimed
to want to come back to Leathers and Lace as a client and he promised to tell
me how to put Richard in jail. All these
things interested me but I was enjoying watching Ravi squirm on my security
camera far too much to let him come grovel before me just yet.
“Pat can you give Ravi a notepad and ask him to write in
detail what information he has about Richard that he wants to provide me. Tell him I need to review it before we meet”
“You’re enjoying Ravi’s discomfort aren’t you Mort?”
“You bet, fuck that disloyal cocksucker”
“Do you want me to ask him how much he would be willing to
sell his McLaren for?”
“You are the best, Pat.
Tell him I’ll give him his asking price but he has to repaint it pink
before I’ll sign the papers to buy it”
“You aren’t going to buy it are you Mort?”
“Nope, but think how many people will laugh at Ravi driving
around in a pink McLaren. I crack myself
up. Also call Dante and see if he can
get some reporters to stop by and interview Ravi while he is sitting in the
waiting room. I’m going to slip out the
back hallway and grab a bite at the Grove, I’ll be back in an hour or two”
As I walked to the Grove I felt like I had the world
dicked. Everything was working out for
me and my friends and enemies alike were in trouble. What more could a lobbyist in Albany ask
for? As I walked into the Grove I
noticed Danny and Mickey Dolan having lunch with Alex Shimmel. There was a bottle of Dom Perignon 1966 on
the table and smiles on everyone’s faces.
“Well gentleman judging from the 1966 Dom it looks like you
are celebrating”
“We are Leathers we are, Alex just agreed to a valuation of
Dolan and Kerr at 4 million dollars.”
“That’s wonderful Danny, and Mickey I trust that you will
remember who put you guys together”
“Absolutely Mort, you’re finder’s fee will be paid at the
closing as we agreed”
“Let me get this straight Leathers, you agreed to a finder’s
fee with Mickey and with me? Both the
buyer and seller are going to pay you a finder’s fee?”
“Yes Alex you are, and before either one of you gets upset
and tries to avoid your financial obligations remember from your individual
perspectives the other party paying me a finder’s fee is irrelevant to your end
of the deal, but my litigating very publicly your failure to fulfill your
obligations could cost each of you a substantial sum. And Alex before you consider walking away
from this deal to spite yourself consider what your South American patrons will
do to you when they find out we were splitting my fee”
“We weren’t splitting your fee Mort”
“True but they wouldn’t know that and given your reputation
I think they would believe it, don’t you?”
“Why aren’t we splitting your fee Mort?”
“Because you were so relieved to return from your ski
vacation without a Columbian necktie that you were off your game, it happens,
Get over it, get this deal closed and I’ll teach you how to start scamming your
clients. Danny will teach you how to start fucking the Albany social elites and
Mickey will teach you how to . . . what is it you are good at again
Mickey? Never mind just remember Alex do
not let Mickey hire anyone or write a check without permission. Do that and this merger might actually be
successful. And by the way just so there
are no hard feelings I’ll pick up the cost of the Dom. Now go celebrate and set a closing date so
you can announce the deal publicly”
I walked over to Jelly who had been watching the entire
exchange.
“Jelly make sure the Dom ends up on my tab. What are you charging for it now a days
$2000?”
“Mr. Leathers you are as generous as you are misinformed.
The 1966 is on the wine list at $2695 but since you were so helpful in locating
Mr. Behuda for my Uncles associates I will confide in you that the Dom is
really a 1997 vintage that one of our associates’ bottles in counterfeit 1966
bottles, my actual cost is under $100.
Allow me to place it on your account as a 1966 for $2695 and I’ll mark
it paid if you give me a couple of $100 bills.
That way we are all happy. Mr.
Dolan and Mr. Shimmel think you bought them a $2695 bottle, I double my money
and you get a $2695 tax write off for $200 cash.”
Lev Behuda had not been seen since he left the Grove after a
meeting with me to wrap up the purchase of his real estate interests by one of
my clients. I had to miss the meeting at
the last minute as a result of a problem with the Audi and Lev walked out of
the Grove upset but in one piece. Most knowledgeable
people in Lev’s line of work did not believe he would ever be seen again unless
someone could put together the jigsaw puzzle that was the late Lev Behuda’s
body. While I normally avoided
involvement with Jelly’s family it didn’t seem to be a big deal to satisfy their
request to get Lev to have dinner with me at the Grove what was unusual was the
Audi not starting as it was flawless when it came to reliability. The Audi mechanic said he had never seen one
have a battery connection broken like mine had been. He said it was almost as if it had been
cut. A $700 repair bill later and I was
only an hour late for my meeting with Lev, but Jelly told me he had already
left.
“Jelly you are nothing if not thoughtful. Can I get a table in the corner, a bowl of
gazpacho and a Caesar salad?”
“Certainly Mr. Leatherbaum and I would recommend a dozen
oysters as well. They are superb today
and I believe Ms. Corehouse is being released from jail today and we are
expecting her shortly, would you like me to have her join you?”
“Oysters and a just released from jail Jenny Whorehouse, I
like you’re thinking Jelly”
Albany could be a wonderful place to be a
lobbyist if you just lacked a conscience.
And a conscience had never been a problem for Mort Leatherbaum
WE ARE RECRUITING NEW LIVE WEBCAM MODELS!
ReplyDeletePROFIT OVER $10,000 EVERY WEEK.
BECOME A BONGA MODELS WEBCAM MODEL TODAY!