As I threw my
golf ditty bag in the Audi I noticed Dan and Trini walking into the clubhouse
together and heading for the private rooms on the second floor. He might be a good catholic boy but he was
going to need a new watch and a dose of penicillin. His Omega Montreal, now my Omega Montreal was
in my ditty bag right next to the microcassette. All in all not a bad day. I was out $2000, my payoff to the hose, but I
didn’t have to hire his idiot kid, Karp would be happy with the tape and I had
another watch bet story to tell anyone who asked where I got the Omega.
Before I could
even leave the parking lot Pat called on my cell.
“Leathers, I’m
glad you finished your round your phone has been blowing up with calls about
Jim Stork”
James Stork,
now that was a name I hadn’t heard in a long time. Jim was a lawyer who showed up about 15 years
ago from some big New York City law firm and started his own firm with a couple
of other young guys. They were doing
well mostly because Jim for all his failings, and he had many, was a genius
when it came to getting clients. The
firm grew quickly and then Jim decided to apply his talent and complete
amorality to lobbying. He should have
been a natural. He started a torrid
affair with Sandy Corogi the wife of lobbyist Nick Corogi and the sister of
then Governor Fitzgibbon’s chief of staff.
Sandy was the head of the state consumer affairs office and soon left to
start a lobbying practice that she ran out of Jim’s law office. They both left their respective spouses and
moved into a large home in Loudonville which was down the block from Jim’s old
house where his wife and kids still lived.
Jim got his wife a good job in the senate and the kids would come and go
from both houses. The rumor was Jim did
as well. Jim’s new house became the
defacto clubhouse for those legislators and lobbyists that Jim and Sandy entertained
lavishly. It also was the home for the
Senate card game. This was a weekly game
of poker that included top senate staffers, several lobbyists and various
businessmen who were Jim’s new lobby clients.
It was also where I met Ravi. Jim
had invited him to the game and Ravi lost a lot of money which ordinarily would
have guaranteed him a regular seat but the next day a New York tabloid had a
small story about the game that everyone believed came from Ravi. Ravi never played poker at Jim’s again but I was
able to convince him that Jim had blackballed him for the news story that Ravi
knew he wasn’t the source for. I knew it
as well since I was. This way I got Ravi
as a client and Jim didn’t.
Jim’s house was
also the scene of one of the most amazing events in the annals of Albany lobbying
depravity. During one of the poker games
with 3 or 4 potential big money clients at the table, Sandy walked thru the
card room on her way to the hot tub on the deck behind the house. This was not unusual as Sandy was always a
gracious host and socialized with us during the game but this time she was
completely nude. Not a stitch of
clothing on and I must say for a 40 something women she looked like a porno
star without the tattoos. Although that
isn’t completely accurate as I noticed she had a tattoo on her left hip that
consisted of a 6 inch ruler with the phrase “you must be this big to enjoy this
ride”. Her nudity wasn’t what caught
everyone’s attention, although it was riveting.
It was the fact that in her right hand she had a firm grip on the hose’s
hose.
Jim would
eventually leave Sandy for a much younger women who was his live in au pair. His lobby practice disappeared within months
of getting caught by the lobby commission in an investigation where he was
heard on tape requiring his clients to provide him cash with which he made
campaign donations in his own name and for entering into a contingent fee
contract for a casino license that he spelled out in emails that his partner,
Bill Volt the former state party chair, turned over after the commission
politely asked for his records. Who does
that in this town? You never write it down
and you never turn it over if you own a shredder, rookies.
Jim was
eventually disbarred for his role in a real estate Ponzi scheme and the last I
had heard had moved to Florida with the au pair and their triplets. The rumor
was he had been arrested in Florida for stealing a Mercedes from a rental car
agency and for trying to sell the house he was renting. According to local news reports he actually
was able to get a cash deposit for the rental home but the scheme fell apart
when the homeowner drove by and saw the Mercedes being packed with children’s
toys and a for sale by owner sign on the front lawn.
Say what you
want about Jim’s life style, I never thought he was immoral I was absolutely
positive he was amoral, and I found myself secretly rooting for the guy to pull
off his latest scam.
“What about Jim?”
“He died”
“No shit, how?”
“Drowned”
“In Florida?”
“No, in Albany”
“In a pool?”
“No they found
him in a barrel of pickles in the old pickle factory out by Ravi’s micro dot
factory”
“A pickle
barrel? That’s crazy”
“Sure sounds
like it”
“Who called
about it?”
“Who didn’t its
big news, you have to start leaving your phone turned on while you play”
“Just give me
the calls I have to return Pat, I don’t need a lecture”
It was weird
but Jim’s death was actually depressing me and making me irritable.
“There are only
two that you should return before you get back here, Call Andy Karp and Casey
Sailer”
“I’ll do that
but email me the rest I don’t think I’m going back to the office”
I had a sudden
need to see Jamie and talk to her about my depression.
“Your friend is
found in a pickle barrel, you have at least a dozen calls to return and you
decide to go visit an Amish whore?”
How could she
possibly know what I was thinking?
“Fuck you Pat
and by the way aren’t you friends with Trini Sandoval?”
“We’re not
really friends I play tennis with her why do you ask?”
“Because as I
was leaving the club she was fucking Danny, just thought you might want to warn
her of Danny’s reputation”
“Daniel would
never do that he is a good catholic boy”
I chuckled as I
hung up, at least ruining Pat’s day made me feel better.
I dialed Karps
number.
“FBI Agent Karp
speaking”
“Andy its
Leathers, you called?”
“Yes we need to
meet at Eggy’s I want the cassette of your discussions with Hibert”
“OK but it will
be about an hour or so I have to meet someone first”
“I know, Pat
said you would want to see Jamie and talk about Stork, that’s the other thing
we need to discuss it looks like the Stork death was a homicide”
“Really Andy?
You don’t think he committed suicide by drowning himself in a pickle
barrel? No wonder the FBI has such a
sterling reputation in this town”
“Careful
Leathers I was at the scene and it appears it was a murder carried out by the
Israeli’s.”
“You’re
prejudice is showing Andy. The Jews aren’t
the only ones that like pickles”
“The fact that
he drowned in a pickle barrel is just one clue the fact that he had a talus
wrapped around his throat is proof it was the Israeli mob it’s their calling
card”
“Ok I’ll see
you at Eggy’s in an hour”
I hung up and
Andy went back to eating the full sour kosher pickle he had taken from the
murder scene.
I decided not
to call Casey, I didn’t need a lecture on punctuation and he wouldn’t have any
useful information even if the Israeli mob had sent him a press release
explaining the who, what, when and why.
Instead I drove
straight to Jamie’s loft.
As I sat on
Jamie’s patio looking out over the Albany skyline I was sipping an ice cold
glass of homemade root beer and enjoying her homemade Amish pretzels.
Jamie joined me
on the patio.
“Why are you so
sad Leathers?”
I explained the
whole Jim Stork story including the pickle barrel.
“You know the
death of someone you know doesn’t have to be so final”
“What are you
talking about Jamie, ending up in a pickle barrel with a talus wrapped around
your throat at the hands of some crazed Israeli mobster is about as final as it
gets”
“I’m not
talking about Jim. I’m talking about you”
“I don’t
understand, like usual”
“Let me see if
I can make it easier to understand”
“Here comes
another Uncle Elmer Amish fable”
“No this is a
real story. My whole family was on our
deck one fourth of July and there was an English family that were friends of my
parents visiting. They had a couple of
little kids who were playing with some of the kittens, you know how many
kittens are around an Amish farm Leathers?’
“I don’t have a
clue Jamie”
“Well there are
lots, anyway one of the dogs jumps on a kitten and breaks it’s back so my
grandmother picked up the kitten by its tail and threw it in the burn barrel,
The English kids are screaming and carrying on and grandma says to them, “calm
down it’s just a kitty it’s not your pet, this is a farm we have lots of
kitties””
“That’s barbaric
but so what, how does that help me?”
“Jim Stork was
not your family, this is Albany we have lots of kitties”
This is Albany
we have lots of kitties, in retrospect no truer words have ever been spoken.
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