I am announcing my candidacy

For what you might rightly ask . . . and I'll get to that in a moment but first let me share with you what prompted this moment of lunacy.

I was awoken this morning by a text from a former classmate and frequent lunch partner previously known to those of us that attend the lunches he coordinates as "Judge Lunchalot" and now known as hopes to be "Sheriff Lunchalot".  This gourmand with short arms and deep pockets told me there was a letter to the editor in the Times Union about me that I should read.  So I fired up the Ipad and went looking on the Times Union hoping it wasn't one of their premium stories that you can't access without a subscription, which I will not get until Casey Seilor leaves.   I found it and here it is http://blog.timesunion.com/opinion/make-grandeau-new-ethics-officer/31818/

While I appreciate the positive comments from Mr. Burgdorf I had to rack my brain to figure out what I had done to him to deserve this fate.  Go work as an employee of the Assembly?  I would rather go ice fishing (which I have done twice, why I went the second time is still a mystery) I would rather slam my junk in a car door (which I have never done) in fact I would rather take Casey Seilor and John Milgram to dinner and pay (which I hope never to do).

Although I am very happy to see myself crowned the Preet of a decade ago, in fact Preet's comment that every time his investigators turn over an ethics rock in Albany something is crawling underneath it reminded me of the meeting I had with Bart Livolsi (then chairman of Lobby Commission) and Andy Celli (commissioner and Spitzer ethics bitch) where Bart asked me why I thought every rock I turned over had a guilty lobbyist under it (the answer is because they did).

But anyway back to my candidacy announcement.  What position do I want to be a candidate for?  I want to be appointed to replace one of the three Silver appointed commissioners on JCOPE.  Not JJOKE because once I'm appointed I will make sure it becomes JCOPE.

Not only do I want the position I intend to do everything possible to get it, up to and including bribing Mr. Heastie (that's a joke Preet)

Here are the steps I will take:

Step one create a vacancy.  Right now all three Silver appointees remain at JJOKE.  Marvin Jacobs, Renee Roth and that guy that looks like Gary Busey from New Jersey whose wife works in the assembly.  See this is how it starts if I don't get my way thru reason and logic I attack and destroy my opposition.  Anyway all three should resign they are clearly the worst commissioners and are only there to protect Shelly,  anyone that has watched their performance recognizes they have no knowledge or skills when it comes to ethics.  They are partisan hacks with personal connections to Shelly.

Step two get appointed.  Once we have a vacancy, actually well before since I have already begun, I have been talking to people close to Mr. Heastie.  Most are existing or former clients of mine and there are a bunch.  They all know I am loyal to my clients and will make Mr. Heastie look good unless he does something unethical in which case he should talk to Joe Bruno about what comes next.

Step three refuse to sign a nondisclosure.  Not going to do it.  And if they refuse to allow me to attend meetings I'm going anyway and will participate from the audience.  That should give the media something to write about.

Step four at my first meeting I will move to have every issue discussed in public, including confidential matters.  And we can go from there.  If the motion is defeated I will invite the media into the executive session, I've done it before ask the folks at NYCLU about my deposition where they refused to ask a single question with the press in the room.

Step five any staff member or commissioner better bring their A game to meetings because I will not be polite, collegial or politically correct.

Before we get to the naysayers let me point out some other things I can bring to JCOPE.

I can get Pat Bulgaro, Peter Moschetti, Blair Horner, Ravi Batra and several other former Lobby Commission members to return and bring honesty and integrity to the commission.

My mere presence will get a bunch of commissioners to resign rather that be publicly abused by me.

The same goes for staff, I still know where the good ones are and what it will take for them to return.  And many of the existing staff will certainly find new positions rather than have to take responsibility for there lack of skills.  The world needs ditch diggers Milgram.

Now I would keep LT  I really think she can do a very good job with the right support and I would enjoy the arguments over the things I'm going to do.  How many times can she tell me I will lose credibility if I do this or that?

Lastly I have a list of things the new JCOPE should be investigating.  Including unregistered lobbying by many groups, the actions of state wide electeds as set forth in complaints filed with the commission, I'm even curious about some book deals I've read about.

Now I know what people are going to say how can I be a commissioner when I have all these lobby and ethics clients?  Am I going to give up my practice like Jeff Klein?  Not a chance.  If I have a client I'll practice the same hypocracy others have before me and recuse myself.  In fact I will go a step better and disclose my clients, that way no one at JCOPE would dare do anything to upset my clients and its a win win for me and my clients.  Kind of like ethics immunity.  Remember if you can't tell in the first five hands of a poker game who the sucker is  IT'S YOU!!!

So Carl if you really want to make an ethics impact

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=call+me+maybe+youtube+video&FORM=VIRE2#view=detail&mid=2D26EC8F34E224AF2F182D26EC8F34E224AF2F18

(518) 461-8635

I'll be waiting.

Of course if I don't get that call I have a real nasty habit of acting out.