I'm addicted to JJOKE meetings. Now I've been attending JJOKE meetings for years and COPI meetings for years before then. I used to go to the old COPI meetings when Cherkasky was the Chairman just to torture him during the public question portion of the meetings. Now I go to JJOKE meetings, even though there is no opportunity for public questions (I will admit my running dialogue with commissioners is my version of the old public question session) just to watch the personal dynamics of commissioners that dislike one another and are finally realizing how little they understand the issues. On that point I feel Marvin Jacobs deserves special praise. Marvin has finally woken up, much like Rip Van Winkle, and is making up for lost time. Based on his recent performances, Marvin is one hell of a lawyer and a genuine tough guy for JJOKE purposes. He won't be bullied by Chairman Horwitz and he is smarter than virtually all of the other commissioners. Where were you for the last three years, Marvin? Better late than never I guess.
On the other end of the scale is Joe "cave in" Cavullo (I know it's Covello but really who cares). I used to think Joe was pretty good as the "fun" commissioner. He made the meetings, spoke occasionally and seemed to have a sense of who he was in the overall scheme of JJOKE incompetence. Now he is part of the dissidents voting in lockstep with Marvin and George Weissman, but I'm not sure he knows why other than someone in Nassau County told him to. (Memo to Horwitz if you want Joey Cave In to go along have Andrew talk to Alfonse who can have someone talk to Joe, I'm sure he will start behaving). Joey Cave In and I have always gotten along although he keeps calling me Gastineau which I guess is his shorthand for Grandeau. I told him during the meeting I thought it was rude of him to purposely keep mispronouncing my name (ironic huh?) especially since I have offered him my resume and writing sample in the form of one of my promotional brochures as part of my application to become the next executive director. He responded that I was thin skinned, I responded by flipping him off (watch the meeting closely and you can see it just before they lose the connection to the remote commissioners). Joey Cave In then said that I should not complain about a mispronounced name since I spelled Joey's name wrong in a previous blog although he quickly added that he never reads my blog. Right Joey you don't read it, someone else read it to you, that's why you are perfect for JJOKE, lazy, slow witted and politically controlled makes you a great JJOKE commissioner Joey. The fact that as a taxpayer my taxes fund the $300 you make every meeting is particularly galling. It's a waste of taxpayer money but not nearly as big a waste of taxpayer money as others in that room.
As I sat in the meeting I started to count up all the waste, the total was astounding.
Lets go around the table.
At the end by the door you have the Director of Public Information, Walter J McClure Jr. who makes $78752 and as much as I can tell his sole job is to open and close the door and say no comment (total wasted $78752)
Next is Stephen J Boland the administrative officer who makes $114710 and presented the total amounts spent by JJOKE to date. Shouldn't Steve be explaining where the salaries for the new hires come from? how they were authorized? the internal controls that he follows to insure against new appointees being paid whatever an outgoing executive director feels like paying (total wasted $193462)
To Stephens right I think is Stacey Hamilton the Manager of training who makes $120000, I say I think because she has never spoken and I can't think of why she would need to attend a commission meeting unless she was going to provide the commissioners a training, something I would pay to watch. (total wasted $313462).
To her right is John Harford the Deputy Counsel who makes $132000. Another mute JJOKE staffer but I guess he is there to provide Gagan moral support and play Robin to Gagan's batman (total wasted $445462).
Speaking of ED in waiting Kevin T Gagan, who sits across from Harford, the man has not said one word in any of the meetings he has attended nor has he done anything but scowl. He makes $165944 the highest paid JJOKER staffer in history (total wasted $611406).
Skipping Commissioner Seymor Knox who has never spoken in his entire tenure on JJOKE you get to the women taking notes Deborah Novak who makes $77598 as a confidential assistant. I don't know who she is confidentially assisting but she used to be a secretary at the old lobby commission. Hired as a friend of Jeanine Clemente, she is a competent secretary but not worth $78k, I'll leave her out of the waste total since she actually provides a function, she's overpaid but she is working.
And speaking of Jeanine Clemente, she wasn't at the meeting but she was mentioned although not by name. You see Jeanine retired in the spring from the job now held by Boland. She is collecting a very healthy state pension but lo and behold she was hired back by JJOKE as a part timer to "work" on the new lobby application. She makes $55.98 an hour on top of her state pension and I'd be willing to bet she will max that part time status out at $30000. What I wouldn't bet on is if she really shows up at JJOKE to work part time. the real question is why they need her to do this work.
Swinging around the table we come to Monica Stamm who makes $154525 and is worth every penny. My question is why isn't she the acting executive director? It would solve all of Marvin and George's strict construction issues on delegations. She would be appointed unanimously and I know Commissioner Romeo has suggested it to Horwitz (I know because I suggested it to Romeo during the meeting and he immediately suggested it to Horwitz) but Horwitz doesn't want Monica to have the title. I checked around and it appears two things are in play. First the Cuomo crowd doesn't want an acting ED to muddy the waters for Gagan to get the job and second Monica isn't fully trusted by the Governors office. She is a Biben person not a first generation Cuomo apparatchik.
Continuing down the table there are a couple of staffers whose names I don't know and who have never said a word. If anyone can identify these wasted seats let me know and I'll add them to the waste total. Last at the table is Lori A Donadio the investigative assistant who makes $66780. Now Lori never speaks and her boss isn't at the table, he sits on the sidelines and I'll get to him in a moment, but why is Lori there? As near as I can tell she is there to fill water and coffee cups. (total wasted $678186).
Along the wall we have two female JJOKE staffers who just sit there with there mouths agape and a confused look on their faces, gotta be lawyers but I'll be damned if I know who they are or what they do. I'm going to estimate their salaries at approx. $90000 each since that's what junior lawyers at JJOKE make (total wasted $858186).
Then we come to Investigator Patrick Coultry who makes $118784. Why are you sitting in the meeting Patrick? You are adding nothing to the meeting and you should be back in your office or on the street investigating some ethical violation. But wait now it makes sense. You must be undercover investigating the violations of the Public Officers Law that occur among the commissioners and their appointing authorities. I can't wait to see that prosecution. (total wasted $976970)
And last we have the two JJOKE thugs who sit behind me at the meeting. Wimpiest thugs I've ever encountered. I asked the younger one if he was Terence M Mulderrig an investigator who makes $101728. He lied and said he was not, So I asked if he was Peter J Smith an investigator who makes $80535. He said he wasn't. I then said it is a bad idea for a JJOKE investigator to lie about his identity and that he should stop acting like a hard on irish cop and fess up. Terrence smiled like his mom just caught him jerking off with her thong and admitted he was Mulderrig and the old mute dude with him was Smith. Now other than sit behind me and try to get me to behave what were they doing wasting time in that meeting room? They should have been out with Coultry collecting information on the Governor's trip to the world series game. When the governor was a wannabe governor he got COPI to use a world series game to destabilize the always shaky Governor Paterson. How was this game in Kansas City that the Governor and members of his staff attended with the Mets owner any different? If the Governor truly used campaign funds was that a legal use of those funds? I know he has done it before for a Ranger hockey game but shouldn't JJOKE at least verify it? NO instead they should all sit and watch the idiots that pass for JJOKE commissioners argue about transparency (total wasted $1159233) THAT IS OVER $1 MILLION DOLLARS WASTED IN THAT ROOM.
When I am Executive Director everyone of them will be fired and we will investigate the commissioners themselves and the governor's trip to the world series along with a long list of violations that have been swept under the rug.
Speaking of violations swept under the rug. Does anyone remember the Trump complaint against Eric Schneiderman? Trump alleged Schneiderman violated the law by soliciting campaign contributions from Trump and family while investigating Trump. JJOKE refused to act until forced to by a court decision. And then it dismissed Trumps complaint, we don't know why nor does Trump because its all confidential. But lo and behold at the end of the meeting JJOKE slipped up and discussed a draft opinion in public session (thank you Marvin) which makes the document subject to FOIL and also by JJOKE rules should have been published on the web site. This is important because it appears in the opinion JJOKE has ruled that elected officials can not accept donations from those they are investigating (no shit). Did they forget what they did in the Trump case? I can't wait until presidential candidate and David Grandeau and Associates client, Donald Trump, gets his hands on that opinion.
Addiction is a powerful emotion.
Dude I gotta slam that JJOKE junk in my veins all the time.