monkeeys

monkeeys

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

When it comes to Elliot Spitzer and whores, fuck is the only word that fits




Because I have the maturity of a 13 year old I took great pleasure in slipping in the word fuck in a comment to the capcon blog item about Spitzer (notice how many double entandres I was able to use so far).  The best part was it lasted, or stayed up on the blog for over an hour (more word play) until Casey Seilor noticed and deleted it (I thought those comments were moderated before they were posted)  Casey Sailor (as in swears like) then emailed me to warn me that if I used profanity again I would be kicked off the blog and be unable to have intercourse (written) with his readers in the future.  I responded "LOL like I give a fuck".  Casey Sailor responded "You've been warned"  Lets see how long it takes for me to get it on with his threat.

But it made me think, was the use of the term "fuck" really necessary when it came to describing what Spitzer did with the whore?  I mean I was pointing out how Spitzer violated the Public Officers Law by using the state plane to fly to Washington DC to"fill in the blank" with the whore.

Now words are important when applying a legal opinion to activity.  In this case Casey Sailor wrote that Spitzer was in the clear for using the state plane because COPI, the agency Spitzer and Joe Bruno created to get me out of government wrote an opinion that spells out what you can do as part of a trip using the state plane.  It says you don't have to reimburse the state for "eating, sleeping or being with family".

Now this provides me with a dilemma when choosing the term I used for what Spitzer did with the whore.  You see if he engaged in cunnilingus that could be considered "eating" if one were to use a coarse vulgar term for that activity, although I'm sure Casey wouldn't kick me off for using the term eating on his blog.  Then there is the word "sleeping"  I've checked the dictionary for synonyms for having intercourse and sure enough "sleeping" is one of them.  And lastly you have "being with family" and if you believe the reports that Spitzer was a dangerous customer because he insisted on not using a prophylactic (hard word to spell) or rubber he could easily claim the activity fit the exception since "being with family" is slang for pregnant.

So I chose fuck, it can not be confused with eating, sleeping or being with family in my opinion.  But for those of more delicate sensibilities, you know you folks who read Proust in the park, lets try some other words and see if you prefer how they sound.

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to make love to the whore

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to do it to the whore

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to have a go at it with the whore

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to bed the whore

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to mate with the whore

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to roll in the hay with the whore

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to get laid by the whore

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to be intimate with the whore

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to copulate with the whore

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to bang the whore

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to couple with the whore

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to have carnal knowledge of the whore

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to shag the whore

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to have coitus with the whore

Spitzer used the state plane to fly to Washington to bump uglies with the whore

Did you ever wonder why there are so many terms for the act Spitzer did with the whore?

At the end of the day I'm afraid I have to disagree with Casey, the only phrase that truly captures what Spitzer did, is fuck.  It's just a word Casey and I spelled it correctly.  You find it thruout literature.  And once you get past your puritan hangups you'll realize the larger point of my argument is correct, Spitzer violated the public officers law when he used the state plane to fly to Washington to fuck the whore.  And thats what is really important here.

As to your threat to kick me off your blog you are warned I'm going to figure out a way to use profanity on your blog and if I get kicked off it's no big deal I have my own blog and I can use any words I want.

1 comment:

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