Assemblyman GRABASS

Here we go again

Another public official exhibiting the behaviour of a drunken frat boy

Another ethics investigation to determine if Assemblyman GRABASS is a bigger pig than Vito Lopez

Another attempt to connect Speaker Silver to a culture of sex in the Capital that makes the 60's look like summer church camp

How long before the Goo Goo's call for new legislation?

How long before the governor demands sex ethics reform?

How long before we have a sex scandal Moreland Commission?  Which by the way would be far more entertaining to watch than the current ethics Moreland Commission

I've got a simple solution and it is one that all the reformers can support because it calls for more voluntary disclosure and bureaucracy, along with the ability to screw up the definitions so anyone violating the disclosure requirement can avoid responsibility

All you need to do is amend the disclosure reports presently filed by public officials under oath to require the disclosure of all sexual contact or harassment during the previous calander year.

Problem solved

Just like the public officials disclosing their business relationships.

And put those reports online so we can all read about the next Assemblyman GRABASS

Twas the night . . .final version

Twas the night before ethics reputations get ruined 

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the JOKE

No staffers were working since LT to date had not spoke

 

All decisions must wait for LT to decide

But until Andy tells her what to do LT is just along for the ride

 

Biben’s posse is still there secure in their nest

Monica had been to RAO’s with LT her spot in the lifeboat secured she said to hell with the rest

 

Biben was gone back to the city she did flee

Who do they think they are kidding she never actually was working in Albany

 

LT’s appointment proved to all that the JOKE was being run

By a governor who was shoveling ethics bullshit by the ton

 

The vote split nine to five in favor of Andy’s ethics moll

And exposed Gary Levine like a turd in a punch bowl

 

Now the word is out

It won’t be long till more commissioner’s shout

 

I resign I resign just like Ravi and Pat

We can’t stay any longer and not get tagged as a rat

 

Yaroshevsky has left and Weisman is skiing out west

Marvin is clueless and the Skelos appointees are playing it close to the vest

 

But it doesn’t matter anymore JJOKE has been exposed

Just a bunch of clowns jumping thru hoops and doing as they are told

 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I’ve drawn a line in the sand 

When people don’t do the job I’ll do all that I can to get them shitcanned

 

Don’t think than I’ serious let me assure you I’m pissed

If you have any doubts just look at my list

 

No more Ralphie or Bridget someone else had to get Terri

Jeanine is still there but not Bob, Scott or the wooden Indian named Larry

 

It took over a year but Biben's now gone and DiFiore is impersonating the grinch

This year I’m focusing on Horwitz and Levine but will settle for Uncle Vinny in a pinch

 

As a result of Biben’s hires the JOKE has a lawyer named Rob

who walked into a closet

And failed to file his attorney registration for over two years

A mere oversight he did posit

 

Let’s not forget Ellen had rehired Sharri on Uncle Vinny’s say so

And brought on Monica who for a short time got to run the show.

 

But  now we’ve got a new leader

Letizia is her name

She’s the top dog now

and it’s her job to show the JOKE hasn’t gone lame

 

It took six months to get her appointed

I wonder what was wrong that Andy had to wait so long for her to get anointed

 

Many calls I did get from clients and friends

Go easy on LT give her a chance to make amends

 

She is really a nice person and will rise to the occasion

I’ve heard this before when Biben was the answer to the equation

 

But I will try one last time to be helpful in this Holiday season

You've proven so far to be trustworthy exhibiting no sign of treason

 

Remember if things go wrong and you don't like the picture

To give me a call and I'll try to be your fixer

 

But if all else fails do what past leaders did best

Have Monica call a staff meeting you must quell the unrest

 

With their heads filled with nothing cause their dopes one and all

Jeanine and Deb said not us we’re taking a long lunch at the mall

So now your stocking is brimming with complaints piled up high

And with no direction from Andy in wait you must lie

 

When all of a sudden the phone it did ring

Its Horowitz calling “The governors upset it’s become quite disturbing”

 

What I can do, LT nervously exclaimed

Cancel the next meeting he patiently explained

We will give you a plan to handle the press when they attack

Unfortunately for you it will include the smokestack

 

So here’s some advice LT, so you don’t join the long line

Of clueless ethics cop Grandeau has forced to resign

Lest we forget I got Herb and then Barry

Now I got Biben and normally I’d stop there before it gets scary 

And so I heard him exclaim as he flew through the sky

LT don’t be afraid, Let your independance flag fly HIGH


You can count on the media to miss the point everytime

Casey is too busy reading proust and critiquing my rhyme

The days when reporters sniffed out corruption are far in the past

Now Seiler and the TU would rather write boring columns for there own social caste  


But don't despair LT if all else fails  you can do what I did in the end

Forget the media and get the feds to help you make your amends




 

Another one bites the dust

Well we were expecting more resignations in the wake of the fiasco at the last JJOKE meeting.  Yaroshefsky threatened to resign but she is still there.  Note to JJOKE commissioners don't point the gun unless you can pull the trigger.  Rumor has it she will depart sometime this month once Silver can find a replacement.

But lo and behold someone else's name is no longer on the letterhead and their bio and picture is missing from the website.

UNCLE VINNY (Vincent DeIorio) has gone into the JJOKE witness protection program.

Could he be in Lillyhammer?

Could he be in Marvin Jacob's basement?

Could he be singing with Elvis?

Nope he just resigned without JJOKE telling anyone.

My god they are paranoid.  It's just a resignation there have been lots before and there will be lots in the future.  A simple press release announcing his departure thanking him for all his hard work and move on.

But not JJOKE.

I have contacted Milgram for confirmation and a comment  If he responds I'll post it word for word.

Hey Shari Calnero does your job go with Uncle Vinny or do they let you stay without an Uncle who is a commissioner?

Steve Cohen . . . ethicist

Who would have ever guessed that Steve Cohen had it in him?  I've known Steve for a long time initially as a foe and now as a friend (at least I think of him that way it may not be mutual).  The same Steve Cohen who said he only had 2 speeds "get along or kill" has now ventured into my niche, my sweet spot, my thing, ethics.  And this is worrisome for me because Steve is very smart and extremely well connected if he ever started to compete with me for Albany's ethics business I'd have to either get along or be killed.  I enjoy life so that kill thing isn't appealing and I've never been real good at getting along.  So it was with that thought in mind that I read Steve's recent Op-ed in City and State (I've reproduced it below)  What is Steve up to since this isn't his normal field?

Now if all Steve is saying is that ethics enforcement is all about the people enforcing it I agree  I've been saying it for a long time It's the people stupid!  In fact I've said it to Steve privately many times (not the stupid part).  And if Steve now believes it, my suggestion is he write an Op-ed calling on the Governor to do something about it starting with the JJOKE commissioners and staff.

But I've got a hunch Steve had other fish to fry when he wrote the piece.  The real question is what does Steve Cohen know about corruption in Albany and how the US Attorney's office is responding to it, that the rest of us don't?

Corruption Thrives In Albany: Why Don’t Prosecutions?

Written by Steven M. Cohen on December 4, 2013. Posted in Features, Opinion.

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If prosecuting corruption cases were fishing, Albany would be considered a trout farm. It seems that every time a prosecutor puts a line in the pond, out comes another lawmaker.
Yet despite the number of cases, the general sentiment is that there are more investigations to be done and more arrests to be made. As the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, Preet Bharara, commented, “It becomes more and more difficult to avoid the sad conclusion that political corruption in New York is indeed rampant and that the ‘show me the money’ culture in Albany is alive and well.”
Two things are striking about the litany of cases: the sheer volume and who is prosecuting them. The majority of cases have originated from the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York in Manhattan and in the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of New York in Brooklyn. There also has been a smattering of cases brought by the Attorney General’s Office and by the Manhattan and Bronx district attorneys. But few, if any, meaningful cases have been pursued by Albany’s own prosecutors.
When lawyers discuss the lack of Albany-originated corruption cases, the explanation offered is that it is very difficult to pursue these cases in the state criminal justice system. Experts are also quick to note that most district attorneys have relatively small budgets and staffs, and tend to put violence, drugs and street crime—not political corruption—at the top of their list of prosecutorial priorities.
Of course, none of this explains a more baffling situation. When it comes to political corruption cases, the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Northern District of New York—the federal prosecutor responsible for Albany—is simply not a player. Admittedly, the Northern District has significantly fewer attorneys than the Southern and Eastern Districts, and a smaller budget. But this alone cannot explain the dearth of public corruption prosecutions. The U.S. Attorney for the Northern District, just like his colleagues in the Southern and Eastern Districts, has all the benefits of the federal law, a prosecutor-friendly grand jury system and a powerful partner in the FBI. Indeed, the sole case of note that the Northern District has pursued is against former Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno, and the Bruno case is a curious aberration.
In truth, the problem is that the top spot in the Northern District has typically been filled by a homegrown, hometown lawyer. Currently Richard Hartunian serves in that position. By all indications he is a competent public servant who has done a credible job in a district that covers 32 counties. He just has not prosecuted corruption cases. And that’s really no surprise, given his background.
Before his appointment Hartunian was an assistant district attorney in Albany, where he prosecuted narcotics and violent crime cases. He then became a federal prosecutor in Albany and continued to focus on narcotics prosecutions, which is what he was doing when he was elevated to the top spot in the office. Is it any wonder that Hartunian has not made public corruption a priority?
By the way, it’s not just Hartunian. You would be hard-pressed to find any prosecutor, federal or local, in the Northern District with serious corruption experience.
What is harder to understand is why no one has bothered to do something about this dilemma. The U.S. Attorney is a presidential appointee who is typically chosen based on the recommendation of the local U.S. senator. Sen. Chuck Schumer certainly knows how to select a smart, aggressive prosecutor. He picked Bharara to serve in the Southern District.
And, as a Northern District native who started her career as a no-nonsense litigator, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand certainly should know where to find the right talent for the job. There are other examples that provide a template, if not a challenge, for the selection of a U.S. Attorney for Albany.
In 2001, at a time when Illinois was plagued with one of its perennial political corruption scandals, Sen. Peter Fitzgerald broke with the tradition of nominating a prominent Chicago lawyer as U.S. Attorney. Instead Sen. Fitzgerald went looking for an independent, tough-as-nails prosecutor. He recruited Patrick Fitzgerald (no relation), who was then serving in the Southern District of New York. (We were co-workers at the time.) Over the next decade Patrick Fitzgerald prosecuted an extraordinary assortment of corruption and other cases. No one can argue that his selection did not make a significant difference.
While there is no doubt that fixing the Albany culture of corruption requires more than criminal prosecutions, homegrown cases are not a bad place to start. Put another way, what does it say about Albany that every major prosecution, guilty plea or trial is an out-of-town event?
There are times when complex problems do lend themselves, at least in part, to simple solutions. If it takes a talent search to make Albany-based misdeeds subject to Albany-based justice, then let the search begin.

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So what is Steve up to?


 

Twas the night before Andy's ethics reputation got ruined

Twas the night before Andy's ethics reputation got ruined 

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the JOKE

No staffers were working since LT to date had not spoke

 

All decisions must wait for LT to decide

But until Andy tells her what to do LT is just along for the ride

 

Biben’s posse is still there secure in their nest

Monica had been to RAO’s with LT so with her spot in the lifeboat secured she said to hell with the rest

 

Biben was gone back to the city she did flee

Who do they think they are kidding she never actually was working in Albany

 

LT’s appointment proved to all that the JOKE was being run

By a governor who was shoveling ethics bullshit by the ton

 

The vote split nine to five in favor of Andy’s ethics moll

And exposed Gary Levine like a turd in a punch bowl

 

Now the word is out

It won’t be long till more commissioner’s shout

 

I resign I resign just like Ravi and Pat

We can’t stay any longer and not get tagged as a rat

 

Yaroshevsky has left and Weisman is skiing out west

Marvin is clueless and the Skelos appointees are playing it close to the vest

 

But it doesn’t matter anymore JJOKE has been exposed

Just a bunch of clowns jumping thru hoops and doing as they are told

 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I’ve drawn a line in the sand 

I’ll do all that I can to get all the bad ones shitcanned

 

Don’t think than I’m serious? let me assure you I’m pissed

If you have any doubts just look at my list

 

No more Ralphie or Bridget someone else had to get Terri

Jeanine is still there but not Bob, Scott or the wooden Indian named Larry

 

It took over a year but its see you later for Ellen and DiFiore, who looked like the grinch

This year I’m focusing on Horwitz and Levine but will settle for Uncle Vinny if I end up in a pinch

Twas the night before ethics reputations get ruined

Yes it is that time of year.  It's time for our annual Twas the night rhyme  Just like in years past I will accept reader's rhymes and try to make them fit this years theme of JJOKE is controlled by the governor and is a miserable failure.   As in prior years it may take all month to complete the rhyme so stay tuned in and keep the information flowing.

 

Twas the night before Andy's ethics reputation got ruined 

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the JOKE

No staffers were working since LT to date had not spoke

 

All decisions must wait for LT to decide

But until Andy tells her what to do LT is just along for the ride

 

Biben’s posse is still there secure in their nest

Monica had been to RAO’s with LT so with her spot in the lifeboat secured she said to hell with the rest

 

Biben was gone back to the city she did flee

Who do they think they are kidding she never actually was working in Albany

 

LT’s appointment proved to all that the JOKE was being run

By a governor who was shoveling ethics bullshit by the ton


***UPDATE***
The readers have responded and here is a new verse

The vote split nine to five in favor of Andy’s ethics moll

And exposed Gary Levine like a turd in a punch bowl

 

Now the word is out

It won’t be long till more commissioner’s shout

 

I resign I resign just like Ravi and Pat

We can’t stay any longer and not get tagged as a rat

 

Yaroshevsky has left and Weisman is skiing out west

Marvin is clueless and the Skelos appointees are playing it close to the vest