Friday, March 27, 2015

When the governor met with the goo goos

It has been reported that the governor met with Blair Horner and Susan Lerner today to talk ethics reform.  Fortunately everybody at the capital is wired nowadays and we have the radio intercept equipment to eaves drop on the meeting.

Lerner: Hey Blair isn't this cool the governor is asking for our opinion on what should be in the ethics reform bill.

Horner: Easy big fella I've been here before.  These motherfuckers will tell us one thing and then do another.  All they want is our quotes for there press release that this is the strictest ethics reform in the nation.

Lerner: I know the last 3 times we did ethics reform they had my quote written for me before the bill language was even released.  Not this time though I'm going to insist that I actually see a bill before they use the quote they write for me.

Horner: Why isn't Dick Dadey here?   That's a bad sign it must mean he's already been rolled.

Lerner: And Barbara Bartolletti too that bitch was on Moreland and didn't do squat.

Horner: What did you want her to do? tell us what she knew? It's all confidential remember that.

David Alfonso: Thank you so much for coming in I wanted to share with you the quotes we've prepared for you to release in our press release on ethics reform.

Lerner: Not so fast I'm not making that mistake for the 4th time I need to see the bill language.

Alfonso: Well we don't actually have any language but I can assure you it will be the strictest ethics reform in North America.

Horner: What will it say? you know for an administration that preaches transparency you are as open as a nuns knees.

Alfonso:It will be the strictest ethics reform in the world.  But we can't tell you what it is because you may speak to reporters about it.

Horner:  Of course we will we are good government groups we have to be open with the public.  Transparent and honest no matter how many times we fuck up ethics reform.

Knock knock and the governor peeks his head into the room.

Cuomo: How is everything going?  Alfonso get off your knees you only have to bow and genuflect when we are alone.

Lerner: If at all possible we would like to see the bill language if it's not too much trouble.

Cuomo: Not a fucking chance but trust me it will be the strictest ethics reform in the known universe.

Horner/Lerner: that will be great this is a historic opportunity for ethics reform.

Cuomo to Alfonso: How dumb are these two? We do ethics reform every year.

OK great meeting guys go tell the media that you are fully behind the strictest ethics reform in the cosmos.

So what do the pillars of transparency do after the meeting?

They tell the press they can't talk about what was discussed.

Bobbleheads one and all

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