IT’S BEEN A FULL YEAR

IT’S BEEN A FULL YEAR

 

It's hard to believe but it’s been a full year since Barry Ginsberg and his PIC gang that couldn’t shoot straight were put to sleep and the new JJOKE watchdog oops attack dog was born.

 

And like any new puppy JJOKE needed time to establish whether they were better or worse than the last watchdog.

 

Now I would have bet big money that they would have been better.  It was almost impossible to do worse.

 

But this is Albany and you should never underestimate how badly the people in charge of ethics can perform.

 

But I should be fair Ellen Biben has only been in charge since February so it’s not a full year.  DiFiore and the other commissioners have to take the credit/blame for the first two months.

 

Let’s make a list of all they have accomplished.

 

Ellen got to hire all her friends from the Inspector General’s office.  Has anyone been impressed by Monica, Milgram, Uncle Vinny’s family, the Chief Economist, and all the lawyers that walk into closets?  And I know they didn’t all come from the IG some had connections to Commissioner’s and their spouses.  Compared to PIC this bunch has better resumes and are more arrogant but I don’t see any improvement.  For anyone that watches Duck Dynasty its like Jessie 3 and Jessie 4 (dogs on the show).

 

Ellen was able to open offices in New York City and Buffalo.  Of course there are no employees in Buffalo but the commissioners from out west no longer have to travel to Albany they can video teleconference from the Buffalo office.  And the Buffalo office provides excellent cover for the fact that the NYC office was opened solely because Ellen and her posse live in NYC.  It got a little dicey from February to May when we were paying all those people full time salaries to work from undisclosed NYC locations when JJOKE’s official work station was Albany.  I can’t wait for the first time JJOKE investigates a state employee for trying to collect expenses related to being away from their official work station.  Even Teitelbaum moved to Albany although he did use a state car to travel home to NYC on the weekends (he even went hunting and killed a deer with the state car).

 

Ellen got her orders and opened high profile investigations into Senator Tom Libous and Assemblyman Vito Lopez/Sheldon Silver.  And maybe someday we will read all about them in the media. 

 

Ellen drafted new regulations to implement source of funding disclosure requirements.  They are 6 months late and ripe for a legal challenge. 

 

Ellen drafted new rules for disclosable business relationships.  They are 12 months late and so poorly drafted I doubt anyone actually will be reporting any relationships.

 

Ellen is now starting to address gift ban rules.  And believe it or not is using the old cup of coffee explanation.   One problem though the law was amended to exempt any food or beverage under $15 so why are we still talking about cups of coffee?

 

Ellen also got a new backdrop for meetings and pictures for the website.

 

Now that’s not what I would call a productive year.

 

It pains me to admit I was wrong.  But Ellen Biben is the wrong person to be in charge of JCOPE, perfect for JJOKE but wrong for JCOPE.

 

At this time it would be a giant step forward if Ms. Biben, Ms. DiFiore and the rest of the JJOKE commissioners resigned.

 

It’s a new year and we need new people at JCOPE.

 

In other words if the puppy can’t learn to pee outside it’s time for a new puppy.

JJOKE FOIL officer (212) 396-2162

(212) 396-2162

 

That’s the number for the person I think is most likely to discuss with the media what is going on at JJOKE.

 

I get calls all the time from the media asking how do you know what JJOKE is doing on the Lopez/Silver investigation.  Do I have an inside source.

 

I tell them I don’t I just use deductive reasoning and the facts that are publicly available to reach my conclusions.

 

I get asked do I know how Fred LeBrun gets information about the Lopez/Silver case, do I know who his source is.  I don’t I hope Fred reads my blog and combines that with his own sources (and he has plenty I’m sure) to reach his conclusions

 

I get asked do I know how Fred Dicker gets his information about the Lopez/Silver case.  And if I’m sure my phone isn’t bugged I tell them what I think but most of the time I just wait for all that clicking on the line to stop and say clearly that I do not know.

 

All these questions got me thinking now that Ravi is gone which commissioner can the media turn to for a quote about JJOKE?

 

I think there is only one commissioner who has shown both the desire and the ability to tell people what is going on at JJOKE.

 

Only one commissioner with the brains and the balls to state that what JJOKE does it should do in the open and that they have nothing to hide.

 

Only one commissioner worthy of replacing Ravi as a shining beacon for disclosure.

 

That commissioner is Marvin Jacobs and his phone number is (212)396-2162.

Twas the night before Biben final version

And that completes this years parody version of Twas the night before christmas.  Thank you to everyone that contributed rhymes (even the bad inappropriate rhymes that did not get included)while it made this year a little less lyrical I think it provided regular readers something to look forward to every day.




Twas the night before Biben

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the JOKE

No NYC staffers were working the Beaver office Sandy did smoke

Work from home Biben did declare

No one is watching no one will care

Biben’s posse stayed home secure in their nest

The Public Officers Law they thought only applies to the rest

Barry was gone to Tax he did flee

Turns out the 2^nd floor kept its promise to him which is more than they did for me

Meet with Biben I was asked see if you can stop being a jerk

So to New York I did trek thinking maybe this time it will work

The meeting went well, filled with good will and true emotion

Little did I know that Biben was a tool the governor controlled and would soon put into motion

She asked who she could trust from the old lobby commission

I gave her three names, people I assured her would make for an easy transition

It didn’t take too long for one of my blogs to upset Ellen

So she fired a third of my people and treated them as if they were felons

Now I’m not a stranger to downsizing, especially in a crunch

Take a look at my list, I’ll take credit for a bunch

No more Ralphie or Bridget someone else had to get Terri

Jeanine is still there but not Bob, Scott or the wooden Indian named Larry

But Ellen you got rid of the best to keep Fern and the rest of your mob

Look at all the new hires who kissed your ass at their last job

As a result JJoke now has a lawyer named Rob who walked into a closet

And a PHD named Kitty who insists on being called a chief economist

Let’s not forget Ellen that you rehired Sharri on Uncle Vinny’s say so

And brought on Monica who does more whispering than anyone since Marcel Marceau

And you’ve now got one of Serph’s angels, Letizia is her name

To handle your political laison cause investigations just ain’t her game

You’ve been at it a year with nothing to show

The press is so bad its clear Milgram is no pro

When all else fails do what you do best

Have Monica call a staff meeting you must quell the unrest

With their heads filled with nothing cause their dopes one and all

Jeanine and Deb said not us we’re taking a long lunch at the mall

When all of a sudden the phone it did ring

DiFiore and Horowitz were calling “The governors upset its become quite disturbing”

What can I do, Ellen nervously exclaimed

Hold an emergency meeting they patiently explained

Vote again vote again they hollered at Biben

The gov wants Shelly’s hide so stop being a comedianne

I heard Ellen muttering as she went off to join the long line

I’m just another clueless ethics cop Grandeau has forced to resign

To which I replied I got Herb and then Barry

And normally I’d stop before it gets scary

But I’ve been told by your boss "don't be mad"

when it comes to your people two out of three really isn' too bad




As we look back JJOKE's first year has gone by in a flash


With nothing to show and many reputations getting thrown in the trash



Ellen's actions have turned Ravi into a hero


While the other commissioners have fiddled as if they were Nero




As for me you've left me no choice but to fight


So to the few friends I have left at the JOKE let me wish you a merry christmas as to the rest I've got nothing else to say I'm trying to be polite.

Twas the night before Biben (day 11)

Twas the night before Biben 

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the JOKE

No NYC staffers were working the Beaver office Sandy did smoke

 

Work from home Biben did declare

No one is watching no one will care

 

Biben’s posse stayed home secure in their nest

The Public Officers Law they thought only applies to the rest

 

Barry was gone to Tax he did flee

Turns out the 2^nd floor kept its promise to him which is more than they did for me

 

Meet with Biben I was asked see if you can stop being a jerk

So to New York I did trek thinking maybe this time it will work

 

The meeting went well, filled with good will and true emotion

Little did I know that Biben was  a tool the governor controlled and would soon put into motion

 

She asked who she could trust from the old lobby commission

I gave her three names, people I assured her would make for an easy transition

 

It didn’t take too long for one of my blogs to upset Ellen

So she fired a third of my people and treated them as if they were felons

 

Now I’m not a stranger to downsizing, especially in a crunch 

Take a look at my list, I’ll take credit for a bunch

 

No more Ralphie or Bridget someone else had to get Terri

Jeanine is still there but not Bob, Scott or the wooden Indian named Larry

 

But Ellen you got rid of the best to keep Fern and the rest of your mob

Look at all the new hires who kissed your ass at their last job

 

As a result JJoke now has a lawyer named Rob who walked into a closet

And a PHD named Kitty who  insists on being called a chief economist

 

Let’s not forget Ellen that you rehired Sharri on Uncle Vinny’s say so

And brought on Monica who does more whispering than anyone since Marcel Marceau

 

And you’ve now got one of Serph’s angels, Letizia is her name

To handle your political laison cause investigations just ain’t her game

 

You’ve been at it a year with nothing to show

The press is so bad its clear Milgram is no pro

 

When all else fails do what you do best

Have Monica call a staff meeting you must quell the unrest

 

With their heads filled with nothing cause their dopes one and all

Jeanine and Deb said not us we’re taking a long lunch at the mall

 

When all of a sudden the phone it did ring

DiFiore and Horowitz were calling  “The governors upset its become quite disturbing”

 

What can I do, Ellen nervously exclaimed

Hold an emergency meeting they patiently explained

 

Vote again vote again they hollered at Biben

The gov wants Shelly’s hide so stop being a comedianne

 

I heard Ellen muttering as  she went off to join the long line

I’m just another clueless ethics cop Grandeau has forced to resign

 

To which I replied I got Herb and then Barry

And normally I’d stop before it gets scary

 

But I’ve been told by your boss "don't be mad"

 

when it comes to your people two out of three really isn' too bad

JJOKE family HR Department (914)696-5555

(914)696-5555

That’s the number to dial if Ellen, Dan and Janet ducked your calls.  It belongs to Uncle Vinny DeIorio.

 

He’s the last of the Cuomo appointees that have any say in what goes on at JJOKE.  He also is in charge of family jobs so if you are related to anyone at JJOKE and need a job dial him up.

 

Now I could keep listing Commissioner’s phone numbers and I might but I don’t want any misunderstanding so let me be clear I did not get these numbers from any present Commission members or employees (other than Ellen).  I can’t speak to former commissioners and ex-employees but that’s JJOKE’s fault for not strip searching people when they left.

 

 

So all the JJOKE storm troopers can relax nobody at JCOPE is leaking phone numbers.  When it comes to  digits at the JOKE I've got mad skills yo. (oops I've been watching too much Breaking Bad).  But seriously focus on all the important things you've accomplished this year . . . funny isn't it?

 

And to those members of the media and the lobbying community who have thanked me for providing this public service it’s my pleasure during the Holiday season it’s always better to give than receive.

Twas the night before Biben (day 10)

Twas the night before Biben 

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the JOKE

No NYC staffers were working the Beaver office Sandy did smoke

 

Work from home Biben did declare

No one is watching no one will care

 

Biben’s posse stayed home secure in their nest

The Public Officers Law they thought only applies to the rest

 

Barry was gone to Tax he did flee

Turns out the 2^nd floor kept its promise to him which is more than they did for me

 

Meet with Biben I was asked see if you can stop being a jerk

So to New York I did trek thinking maybe this time it will work

 

The meeting went well, filled with good will and true emotion

Little did I know that Biben was  a tool the governor controlled and would soon put into motion

 

She asked who she could trust from the old lobby commission

I gave her three names, people I assured her would make for an easy transition

 

It didn’t take too long for one of my blogs to upset Ellen

So she fired a third of my people and treated them as if they were felons

 

Now I’m not a stranger to downsizing, especially in a crunch 

Take a look at my list, I’ll take credit for a bunch

 

No more Ralphie or Bridget someone else had to get Terri

Jeanine is still there but not Bob, Scott or the wooden Indian named Larry

 

But Ellen you got rid of the best to keep Fern and the rest of your mob

Look at all the new hires who kissed your ass at their last job

 

As a result JJoke now has a lawyer named Rob who walked into a closet

And a PHD named Kitty who  insists on being called a chief economist

 

Let’s not forget Ellen that you rehired Sharri on Uncle Vinny’s say so

And brought on Monica who does more whispering than anyone since Marcel Marceau

 

And you’ve now got one of Serph’s angels, Letizia is her name

To handle your political laison cause investigations just ain’t her game

 

You’ve been at it a year with nothing to show

The press is so bad its clear Milgram is no pro

 

When all else fails do what you do best

Have Monica call a staff meeting you must quell the unrest

 

With their heads filled with nothing cause their dopes one and all

Jeanine and Deb said not us we’re taking a long lunch at the mall

 

When all of a sudden the phone it did ring

DiFiore and Horowitz were calling  “The governors upset its become quite disturbing”

 

What can I do, Ellen nervously exclaimed

Hold an emergency meeting they patiently explained

 

Vote again vote again they hollered at Biben

The gov wants Shelly’s hide so stop being a comedianne

 

I heard Ellen muttering as  she went off to join the long line

I’m just another clueless ethics cop Grandeau has forced to resign