Twas the night before Biben final version

And that completes this years parody version of Twas the night before christmas.  Thank you to everyone that contributed rhymes (even the bad inappropriate rhymes that did not get included)while it made this year a little less lyrical I think it provided regular readers something to look forward to every day.




Twas the night before Biben

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the JOKE

No NYC staffers were working the Beaver office Sandy did smoke

Work from home Biben did declare

No one is watching no one will care

Biben’s posse stayed home secure in their nest

The Public Officers Law they thought only applies to the rest

Barry was gone to Tax he did flee

Turns out the 2^nd floor kept its promise to him which is more than they did for me

Meet with Biben I was asked see if you can stop being a jerk

So to New York I did trek thinking maybe this time it will work

The meeting went well, filled with good will and true emotion

Little did I know that Biben was a tool the governor controlled and would soon put into motion

She asked who she could trust from the old lobby commission

I gave her three names, people I assured her would make for an easy transition

It didn’t take too long for one of my blogs to upset Ellen

So she fired a third of my people and treated them as if they were felons

Now I’m not a stranger to downsizing, especially in a crunch

Take a look at my list, I’ll take credit for a bunch

No more Ralphie or Bridget someone else had to get Terri

Jeanine is still there but not Bob, Scott or the wooden Indian named Larry

But Ellen you got rid of the best to keep Fern and the rest of your mob

Look at all the new hires who kissed your ass at their last job

As a result JJoke now has a lawyer named Rob who walked into a closet

And a PHD named Kitty who insists on being called a chief economist

Let’s not forget Ellen that you rehired Sharri on Uncle Vinny’s say so

And brought on Monica who does more whispering than anyone since Marcel Marceau

And you’ve now got one of Serph’s angels, Letizia is her name

To handle your political laison cause investigations just ain’t her game

You’ve been at it a year with nothing to show

The press is so bad its clear Milgram is no pro

When all else fails do what you do best

Have Monica call a staff meeting you must quell the unrest

With their heads filled with nothing cause their dopes one and all

Jeanine and Deb said not us we’re taking a long lunch at the mall

When all of a sudden the phone it did ring

DiFiore and Horowitz were calling “The governors upset its become quite disturbing”

What can I do, Ellen nervously exclaimed

Hold an emergency meeting they patiently explained

Vote again vote again they hollered at Biben

The gov wants Shelly’s hide so stop being a comedianne

I heard Ellen muttering as she went off to join the long line

I’m just another clueless ethics cop Grandeau has forced to resign

To which I replied I got Herb and then Barry

And normally I’d stop before it gets scary

But I’ve been told by your boss "don't be mad"

when it comes to your people two out of three really isn' too bad




As we look back JJOKE's first year has gone by in a flash


With nothing to show and many reputations getting thrown in the trash



Ellen's actions have turned Ravi into a hero


While the other commissioners have fiddled as if they were Nero




As for me you've left me no choice but to fight


So to the few friends I have left at the JOKE let me wish you a merry christmas as to the rest I've got nothing else to say I'm trying to be polite.