Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Time for JJOKE to answer some questions

William O'Reilly of the November Group has some questions he wants JJOKE to answer.  Now since Mr. O'Reilly has never had to interact with JJOKE he doesn't understand that due to their incompetence and fear of the media no one at JJOKE will answer his questions.

But I know the JJOKE crowd pretty well  let me see if I can channel the JCOPE commissioners, lower my IQ to their level (about 85) and answer these questions

The following questions are being asked of the Joint Commission on Public Integrity (JCOPE) after it passed an "Advisory Opinion" Tuesday forcing New York PR firms to register as lobbyists and report contacts with the news media when engaged on matters of public affair.
What role did Governor Andrew Cuomo have in creating this opinion?
What role did God have in creating the universe, nothing happens at JCOPE without Andrew's guiding hand.  Check Chairman's Horwitz's nose . . . that's Andrews DNA
Did any member of JCOPE or any member of JCOPE's staff consult with or talk to Governor Cuomo or any member of Governor Cuomo's political or governmental staffs regarding this opinion? If so, between whom were those conversations and what was discussed?
Of course they did but fuck you if you think we are going to tell you that Linda Lacewell is the one that transmits those messages
Will Governor Cuomo, his staff, or members of the state legislature have to report conversations between them and the news media, or are they exempt?
Not a chance, how stupid do we look
Do government officials have greater First Amendment protections than other citizens? Where in the Constitution does it say that?
Of course they do it says so right in my campaign's bank balance
Has this ever been done by any U.S. state or local government?
New York first in the nation when it comes to ethics and corruption
Who will have access to these JCOPE reports?
Everyone after JCOPE gives them to the governor to leak to the press
How many members of the news media advised on this opinion?
 That's funny
How many public relations professionals advised on this opinion?
We are not sure what a public relations professional is
How many First Amendment experts were consulted?
 Does Andy Celli count?  He is only interested in collecting a fee for his 1st amendment lawsuit that Berlin Rosen is paying for.  Who uses a Spitzer retread these days?
From where does JCOPE derive its authority over PR professionals?
From our lord and savior Andrew Cuomo
JCOPE abruptly changed its proposal Tuesday by saying that discussions between journalists and PR professionals will be exempt from reporting, but not discussions between PR professionals and editorial boards. Why are you making this distinction?
We don't know the governors office told us to
Do you not consider editorial board members journalists?
We don't even understand your question Fuck off
Do you think editorial boards are more easily swayed than reporters?
We've never talked to an editorial board and damn few reporters what the difference?
If a PR rep pitches a journalist, and an editorial board follows the story, is that de facto lobbying on the PR professionals part?
That depends if the editorial helps or hurts Cuomo
Do you think that straight news stories are impregnable to influence, but not editorials?
Now that's really funny
If a news release is sent to editorial boards, does that release have to be reported?
 That depends if the release helps or hurts Cuomo
If a news release is sent to a columnist, does that release have to be reported?
 That depends if the release helps or hurts Cuomo
If a news release is sent to a reporter or columnist who also happens to serve as an editorial board member, does that release have to be reported?
That depends if the release helps or hurts Cuomo 
If an editorial board member is a Twitter follower or a Facebook friend, does every Tweet or post on matters of public interest have to be documented and reported?
 That depends if it helps or hurts Cuomo
Is there a presumption that all social media posts are read?
By some loser in their basement dressed in their pajamas
If an editorial board includes members of a community, such as a community advisory board, are they subject to the restrictions as well?
 That depends if their action helps or hurts Cuomo or if they are a donor
Do off-the-record conversations have to be reported?
 That depends if they  help or hurt Cuomo
If conversations are initiated by a reporter or editorial board member to a PR professional, does the PR professional need to report that?
 That depends if they  help or hurt Cuomo
Do social interactions between PR professionals and editorial board members have to be noted?
 That depends if they  help or hurt Cuomo
If a PR firm books a guest on a radio or television show, does that have to be reported?
 That depends if they  help or hurt Cuomo
Do PR firms need to report unsuccessful attempts to persuade editorial pages to address a topic or run an opinion piece?
 That depends if they  help or hurt Cuomo
What about unreturned phone calls or emails?
That depends if they  help or hurt Cuomo 
Is a blog author considered an editorial board member?
Careful this is a very important question
Is anyone who promulgates an opinion on a news site a de facto editorial board member?
 That depends if they  help or hurt Cuomo
If Matt Drudge or Arianna Huffington are called or emailed, does that need to be documented?
 That depends if they  help or hurt Cuomo
At what point is a blogger or active social media producer deemed a public influencer akin to an ed board?
That's enough of that   I can't give away that information it's too valuable
Where do television, radio or internet commentators fall under this rule? If a PR representative hopes to sway their opinions, does that have to be reported? They're not edit board members, but their reach can be large.
 You bet there reach is large so that depends if they  help or hurt Cuomo 
Do conversations with reporters or editors regarding federal or local government issues have to be reported, or is it just state issues?
You are an idiot we have jurisdiction over State and Local but I doubt a majority of the commissioners know that
Do conversations with out-of-state or foreign reporters or ed board members need to bereported?
 That depends if they  help or hurt Cuomo
If a publisher who is a member of an editorial board is notified of an issue or advertisement, does that apply?
Have they given Cuomo a large advance for a book no one will read?
Why aren't advertisers subject to this ruling? They affect public opinion.
Because they give Andrwe discounts for his campaign
What are the penalties for PR professionals failing to register as lobbyists?
Castration or you have to buy one of Andrews books your choice
Will you attempt to physically halt political communications if a party refuses to comply?
Andrew controls the state police what do you think
If a TV or radio appearance in behalf of a client is made -- a news appearance that could be viewed by news professionals -- does that have to be reported?
 That depends if they  help or hurt Cuomo
Can you provide a sample monthly report of all that is required, or are you still making this up?
Fuck off we don't know how to make this stuff up
Do not-for-profit corporations need to document outreach to members of the news media?
C4 but not C3
What about protests, rallies or marches that are done in the interest of changing policy or altering public opinion?
 That depends if they  help or hurt Cuomo
Do you really think PR firms need to disclose their clients to JCOPE, when it is the inherent job of those firms to get their clients better known to the public?
Fund raising list dummy
Do story leaks need to be reported? What if those story
leaks indirectly benefit a paying client?
Leak is such an ugly word
What if multiple topics are discussed on a single telephone call? Do all topics and potential client interests need to be delineated for JCOPE?
 That depends if they  help or hurt Cuomo
Who on the state level is going to review filings? JCOPE? Law enforcement? Attorney general's office?
How much is that staff going to cost taxpayers?
We already waste over $4 million on staff whats another million matter
Are filings now subject to Freedom of Information Laws?
Are political parties and unions included in clients that must be disclosed?
How naïve are you
Why was this done through an advisory opinion rather than by rules or through the legislature? Was that an attempt to circumvent the public comment period?
Nah just another exercise of raw power by Andrew Cuomo    JJOKE is Andrew Cuomo

Now comes the fun part.  JJOKE just stepped on their dick and decided to pick a fight with people that buy ink by the barrel and people that pay for that ink and do this PR spin for a living.

Some of them will waste money on Andy Celli and a federal lawsuit that will slow the implementation of the opinion down for the next 2 years and some will hire me to ask for further clarification thru opinions on actual facts and some will hire me to just start registering and reporting so they can sleep well at night.  Other than Celli making money I'd say that's a pretty good result.

The only thing better would be for Cuomo to get scared and get rid of JJOKE so New York can try to do better.  PREET any interest in this stuff?

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Eliminate JJOKE before they hurt people . . . like the Governor

Do you think the Governor watched the JJOKE meeting today?

If he did he has no choice but to eliminate JJOKE and start from scratch.

JJOKE is his commission.

The Chairman Dan Horwitz is his appointment

The next Executive Director Kevin Gagan is his minion.

JJOKE is Andrew Cuomo's embarrassment.

Sure we can blame the legislative leaders for appointing some of the most clueless commissioners anywhere in government.  Did anyone notice that Commissioner Smalls did not know that there is a $5000 threshold to register as a lobbyist?  How can JJOKE issue opinions when it's own commissioners have never read the law?

But at the end of the day JJOKE is Andrew's fault.

So if the consultants and PR firms want to blame someone for what happened today blame the Governor, JJOKE is his.

If on the other hand you accept that JJOKE is merely incompetant, and they are, and are not looking to blame anyone but merely to play the game by whatever idiotic rules JJOKE now imposes give me a call at 5184618635.  If you want to register and report I can make it easy for you as I have for any number of large and small lobbying firms.  If you don't want to register I can protect you and show you how to avoid JJOKE and it's incompetency.  And if you want to fight JJOKE I'd love to do it for you, it would be like taking candy from a baby.  And right now I'd love to watch Dan Horwitz throw a temper tantrum.

And on that note let me emphatically state that Dan Horwitz is a liar.  He promised me an interview for the executive director job they are giving to Kevin Gagan.  Dan's word is worthless but that's not really a surprise is it.

A bad chairman for a worse commission.  They all deserve to have to answer questions under oath.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Time to attach blame

Who is responsible for the state of ethics in New York?

Is it the corrupt electeds that continue to prove that one bad apple does ruin it for all the other bad apples that just haven't gotten caught?

Is it Andrew Cuomo's fault for announcing yet another best in the known universe ethics reform package that will once and for all prove that transparency is what New York government is the best at?

Is it JCOPE and it's leader Dan Horowitz  for their do nothing and understand less, brand of ethics enforcement?

Is it the media for an approach to ethics reform that is better suited to sports reporting or fiction.  Just think Chris Bragg can do a documentary "The making of honest services fraud" starring Casey Sailer as the plagerising host dutifully reading the latest ethics reform package that failed to stop the latest corruption conviction.

Is it the staff at JCOPE like Amy Nicotera that spend their days spellchecking client names to catch that comma discrepancy?  Or Christina Weisnet who spends her time sending collection matters to the AG's office for payments that JJOKE has already received and processed?  Or Martin Levine writing draft opinions about tweeting?  Or Jeanine Clemente retired and still earning $30000 plus her pension to design a new computer system (none of them remember we stole the last system from Connecticutt, Jeanine has no expertise or particular talent to be paid $30000 to babysit this project for God knows how long, must be nice to have political connections - and if her husband doesn't agree with the blog he knows where to find me)  Or Kevin Gagan waiting to get his appointment as Executive Director based solely on his ability to do exactly as he is told by his former patron the governor?  On that one look for Gagan's appointment Tuesday at JJOKE's next meeting.  After a nationwide search and numerous interviews of highly qualified ethics lawyers (I never did get an interview, I guess I'm not qualified and Gagan is, qualified to stick a nose up the governor's arse that is) JJOKE finds the next Teitelbaum, Ginsberg, Biben  and/or Tagliafierro right in their own offices, shocking.

A little more on Gagan, the soon to be new executive director of the worlds most incompetent and meaningless ethics agency,  he's been the chief of staff for over 7 months and what has he accomplished other than collecting his $165000?  That's right he is responsible for the fund raising opinion, the tweeting opinion and the PR/consultant opinion.  Imagine what he will be capable of once he gets the title.

And for all the folks that are up in arms over those opinions save your money that you are wasting on the Spitzer retread Andy Celli (he never understood what was going on when he was a lobby commissioner and judging from his work on the consultant opinion not much has changed in my humble opinion) or counting on the New York Advocacy Association and Ken Fisher to help you (I spoke to Ken before he wrote his comments - the note about meaningful involvement was all me) remember I've forgotten more than these folks know.  I've already found the loophole oops exception that would prevent JJOKE from requiring consultants and PR folks from having to register and report their activity.  My clients get that tactic or protection  the rest can count on Celli and Fisher to protect them . . . good luck.

And because I like Martin Levine and know that he is trying, he just lacks the experience or direction to not step on his dick, here is a freebie.  Have you considered that your opinion will require the spokesman for a political campaign to register as a lobbyist? Which makes the campaign the client of a registered lobbyist. Which means all those lifestyle enhancements the campaigns buy for their public official candidates, the meals, the travel, the cars, the clothes. the pool covers, the tickets to the Yankees and Mets and Rangers and Knicks and Nets  oops scratch that no one goes to the Nets games, the pool covers the vet bills the magicians the clowns etc etc etc are ALL ILLEGAL GIFTS AND THEREFORE CRIMES.  Congratulations Martin you just solved one of the goo goos biggest gripes and gave everyone a chance to see how JJOKE reacts once the electeds read the blog and react.

And speaking of the good government groups that is who I blame for the state of ethics in New York.

As bad as this governor and past governors have been at announcing ethics reform after ethics reform the groups are the Charlie Brown of ethics to the Governor's Lucy.

Blair, Susan and Dick don't you get it yet?  All you do is provide political cover for a deeply flawed and broken system.  All the folks above bear some blame but you guys are the original AIDS monkey.

The single most meaningful decision that will effect ethics in New York for the next couple of years will take place at the commission meeting Tuesday.  A new executive director will be chosen.  It will be a Cuomo apparatchik (I think Gagan) and you not only have had no effect or input into the decision you haven't even asked the most basic questions. 

Show up Tuesday to watch the monkey get screwed again.

Maybe Gagan will even sign your pledge.

Friday, January 8, 2016

A pledge is what we need

Can you believe in the corruption capital of the free world our good government groups after years of hapless efforts to get ethics reform after ethics reform have come to the brilliant conclusion that the next ethics reform should be a pledge.

What's next pinkie swears?  Double dog dare you? The check is in the mail? I won't cum in your mouth?  Oops that last one might be too coarse.  No on second thought given JJOKE's propensity to investigate sexual harassment in the legislature it's more likely an excerpt from some Senator or Assemblyman's staff meeting.

And JJOKE's answer to corruption?  an opinion on tweeting.

News flash the real story is JJOKE's search for it's next boss.

Preet told us already the real problem in Albany is the enabling that goes on.

You want to stop the enabling?  change the people not the laws

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

If JJOKE was an NFL franchise it would be the Cleveland Browns

It's that time of year.

NFL teams are firing and hiring coaches.

And JJOKE is still looking for it's next Executive Director.

It's been almost six months that JJOKE has been rudderless, some would argue it's been closer to six years.

JJOKE's chairman, Dan Horwitz has told us that the next JJOKE boss will be selected by their next meeting in a couple of weeks.

Has anyone heard who they are selecting?

Has anyone heard who they are interviewing?

I can tell you that I have NOT been interviewed.

But I don't know who has.

Without sounding too arrogant, if I can't even get an interview the candidates that are being interviewed and the one they will select must be pretty special.

I have decades of experience in the field.

A proven track record of success.

Unquestioned independence.

I've been endorsed by the good government groups, the media and the following JJOKE commissioners:

Gary Levine has called me brilliant.

Marvin Jacobs has assured me of his support.

And Dan Horowitz told me at the last meeting I would be interviewed, of course he also said he doesn't have enough votes to pass an opinion on tweeting so really what does his support mean?

Well enough of my ego the real question is if I'm not even good enough for an interview how good is the person they are selecting?

Are they bringing back LT or Biben or Ginsberg or Teitelbaum/

How about DiFiore or Cherkasky or Feerick or our USAG Loretta Lynch?

All these supremely qualified people have had stints in one form or another leading JJOKE or PIC and yet NY has suffered through almost a decade of lax or no ethics enforcement and poorly managed ethics agencies.

When is enough enough?

The least JJOKE can do is follow the NFL model and tell us who they are bringing in for interviews.

Maybe they can get Rob Ryan.  Not even the Browns would be that stupid.