JJOKE
TRANSCRIPT
Several
of our regular readers have contacted me to complain that the blog about the
recent open mic screw-up at JJOKE left them unsatisfied. They wanted more. They wanted to hear what was said in the
meeting. And since we pride ourselves on
our ability to get to the truth we have spared no expense to obtain a
transcript of what occurred.
It
took quite a few resources and the use of highly specialized James Bond type
spy equipment along with in depth interviews of those in the room and downloading
the listening device that we have had in John Milgrams cigarette for the last
year to obtain the following transcript.
Not
since the missing 18 minutes of the Nixon tapes has so explosive a recording been
published
Biben - CLICK unintelligible garble Rob make sure
you don’t put your book down on the mute button
Unknown male _ Okay Miss Biben. . I’m not an idiot
I know not to turn on the microphone this is a super secret executive session
after all
Biben – Okay where were we?
Weissman – You were explaining why
Biben – Shut up when I want the opinion of a
legislative appointee I’ll be sure to send you a memo And no you are not allowed to see your mail,
sworn complaints or opinion requests unless I let you. Do you understand?
All Legislative appointees – Yes Mamm
Biben – As I was saying we have spent a lot of our
valuable time thoroughly examining how we can charge what’s his name?
DiFiore – DiNapoli?
Biben – No the other one
DiIorio – Schneiderman?
Biben – No no the other one the 2nd
floor told us they needed to investigate
Horowitz – Silver
Biben – Right Silver anyway so we’ve spent the
last six months trying to use that case against the Assemblyman that couldn’t
keep it in his pants
DiFiore – Lopez
Biben – Really? Does it matter what his name is
Janet? Don’t you have a parking meter
that needs quarters? I didn’t see Grandeau
in the audience but that fat **** is probably lurking about somewhere. That’s all we need to end up on his blog for
you getting another ticket.
Unknown male – Excuse me Miss Biben but what are
these buttons on this box for? They have red lights next to them and a sign
that says do not press unless you are an idiot.
Biben – I don’t want to admit that I have no idea
what all this technology is so Milgram explain to everyone what these buttons
are for
Milgram – off the record I don’t know I think it
has to do with the microphones but as long as no one acts like an idiot and
plays with the buttons we should be fine what’s the worst that could
happen? This is a secret meeting no one
will ever know what happens in here.
Biben – Thank you John for that thoughtful and thorough
analysis of the issue
Round of applause
Biben – I didn’t see you legislative appointees
genuflecting do we need to go over how things work around here again? Do you want to read in the New York Post how
corrupt you are? All I need to do is
push this button and the whole world can hear how Commissioner Yarasomething or
other had a conflict of interest in the Silver case and refused to recuse.
Unknown Commissioner – Actually I believe she said
that she thought that Judge Yates was an honorable man
Biben – But that doesn’t fit with our case that
Silver violated the Public something or other law. I’m positive the 2nd floor said
this Yates guy has to be corrupt right Monica?
Stamm – whisper whisper
Biben – I forgot that Schechtman represents Yates
and he’s our guy right?
Stamm – whisper whisper
Biben – Yes yes quite right if the commissioner
doesn’t want to recuse she should keep
quiet the less said the better
Laughter
DiFiore – Point well taken or point taken
Biben – Okay Lets vote to find that Silver did
something wrong so we can leak the story to the press. I know the six executive appointees vote yes. Renzi? You are a yes right or do I have to
have the 2nd floor threaten your wife’s job again?
Renzi – unintelligible mumble
Biben – Good that’s seven in favor how about you
the new girl I don’t know your name you replaced that pain in the ass Batra you
vote yes
Silence
Biben – Okay eight in favor that’s enough the vote
carries
Jacobs – I don’t want to impose but I think the
law says you need three legislatively appointed democrats to vote in favor to
move ahead.
Biben – excuse me the law? The law? I am the law
around here
Jacobs – Well the truth is
Biben – The truth? YOU CAN”T HANDLE THE
TRUTH. The truth is the 2nd
floor wants this and that’s all anyone in New York needs to know.
KNOCK KNOCK whisper rustling sound of footsteps
DiFiore – What John? Speak up stop making those ridiculous hand signals.
. What? You want me to stop talking? Why? For Christ’s sake why are you picking up Rob’s
books? Leave those buttons alone . . .
There
you have it a complete transcript of what happened when the mics were left on.
As
always make your own judgments of the accuracy of any material on the blog.