As I pulled up to Eggy’s I noticed a large paper sign on the
front door. It read “Seized by the US Department
of Justice – Administrative Forfeiture”
Karp was leaning against the front of the building.
“What’s going on? Eggy’s has been seized?”
“Yup, turns out Jackson Lopresti had a hidden interest in
the place”
Jackson was a so so lobbyist. He mostly represented the smaller labor
unions.
“Why would Jackson having an investment in Eggy’s cause it
to be seized by the Feds?”
“We did it under Title 19, no judicial involvement we just
take it”
“We?”
“Yes we, more precisely me.
Do you know that prick Lopresti actually installed coin vending on the
sugar packets? He wanted a dime every
time you needed a sugar packet. Well
fuck him now. He’s out and we own it.”
“The federal government is going to run Eggy’s?” My head was spinning.
“Nah, the government can’t run a restaurant. If we can fuck up the lottery can you imagine
what we would do in a restaurant? No it
will get auctioned off and new owners will take over. But let’s talk about more important things,
what did you get at Ping’s fundraiser?”
“Absolutely nothing, that crazy Jew, Lev Behuda almost got
in a gun fight with Jelly’s guys, then after the arrests no one and I mean no
one was talking about anything. You guys
have scared everyone so much that they just shut up, worried about being taped.”
“That’s crazy, people have been taped in Albany forever, and
you know that as well as anyone. What’s
changed?”
“I think it’s how high profile Ping has made
corruption. It used to just be the cost
of doing business in government now Ping is playing for blood and dragging
families and friends into it. It’s like
he thinks he’s Giuliani and we’re the Mafia”
“He’s fucking up a good thing that’s for sure. He’s in such a rush to announce his presence
with authority that he doesn’t realize he’s going to miss a lot. It’s like that old Amish story about the cows”
Amish story? Could
Karp be one of Jamie’s clients?
“What Amish story?”
“I know this Amish lady and she told me her Uncle used to
tell her a story about these two bulls, one old and one young, that were on a
hill and saw a herd of cows, the young one said lets run down there and fuck us
some cows, the old one responded let’s walk and fuck all of them. Makes sense don’t you think?”
“Fuck you Andy, this isn’t some bullshit Amish common sense
thing, Ping is changing the very way we do our jobs, both of us”
“I know Mort it’s sad but sometimes you just have to accept
change and make the best of it”
“Is that so Andy? How
do you plan on making the best of it?
What else can you do if there is no political corruption left in Albany? Do you plan on transferring to the anti-terrorist
section?”
“That’s not funny Mort.
Maybe I’ll just buy Eggy’s myself”
“You, buy Eggy’s? You
would never retire from the bureau it’s all you know”
“People change Mort, but you better hope I don’t retire
because right now the only thing protecting you from that crazy Jew is me”
“What are you talking about, Behudas got no issue with me”
“Now that’s where you’re wrong, Leathers. Last night when Behuda left the fundraiser he
had a meeting with Jelly’s uncle Vince Iorrizo.
The Iorizzos are expanding their business now that everyone is focused
on political corruption and they cut a deal with Behuda to run the importation
and sale of marijuana”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“The word around town is you are working for this guy Alex
Shimmel at Contemporary Interior Accents to stop Behuda from opening those pot
dorms Ravi and Richard are lobbying for”
“So?”
“Well take this as a compliment but the Iorizzos and Behuda
think you are better than Richard at what you do so the most cost effective
solution is to remove you from the equation”
“They want to kill me?
I’m just a lobbyist”
“They want to kill you because you are a lobbyist, that and
Vince is pissed that you never asked for his help on anything, the Italians are
funny that way”
“What do I do Andy? I’m
no tough guy. I’m just a lobbyist I live
off of my ability to corrupt others. How
can I corrupt stone cold criminals?”
“You can’t. You’ve
been dealing with armatures your whole career these guys are pros. I talked with Vince though and told him I
still needed you so out of professional courtesy they aren’t going to let
Behuda pickle you but you have to fire Shimmel and I have no idea what he will
do”
Talk about being between a rock and a hard place. My choice was pissing off the mafia or
pissing off whomever it was that Alex worked for.
Cadillac Curtis never warned me about anything like this and
somehow embracing serendipity just seemed like a half assed way to survive at
this point.
“Andy what would you do in my shoes?”
“We’ve known each other a long time Mort, my advice is first
thing stop asking people for advice. If
you have to rely on an Amish whore and a cheap FBI agent to tell you what to do
you are well and truly fucked”
I looked at Andy, he was just smiling, and he hadn’t said a
word. I was talking to myself in my own
head.
“Didn’t you hear what I just didn’t say to you? All I can tell you Leathers is buy some time
and see what happens. At this point you’re
just along for the ride”
Just along for the ride?
That sounded a lot like embrace serendipity. I hadn’t been just along for the ride in 30
years I wasn’t going to start now. I am
Mort Leatherbaum I drive the bus.