Back by popular demand

 

IN THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

 

 

Twas the night before Christmas, in JJOKE’s Broadway hideout
no chairman was appointed since Horwitz had been tossed out

The commissioners were nestled teleconferencing on the tube
proving their incompetence and acting just like a boob

The hearings had been held the press releases sent,

Rozin was acting, the chair he did rent.

Weismann and Jacobs were nervous they were losing their hair
Their appointing authorities were convicted they might get the chair

Dan Horwitz had run off like a thief in the night,
he knew like every chairman before, what he did just wasn't right.

When out in the media there was a growing emotion
that JJOKE was corrupt it was more than a notion.

Percocco was indicted by Preet who would not be thwarted
his real target was a Governor whose affairs were documented and quite sordid

JJOKE never looked at Percocco’s outside employment
 Agata had told him don’t worry grab the cash so you can pay your rent

But now the media was asking why JJOKE gave Percocco a pass
Agata’s lies and excuses smelled like so much ass gas

What would they do the minions of Cuomo,
He called them by name all except Pee Pee Chang Decastro

On McClueless, On Martin and the lawyers all should
Come here Lori, Maria and the rest of the dead wood.

Come to my office we have to plan our attack
We need to get Grandeau off of our back.

With their heads filled with nothing cause they're dopes one and all
Jeannine and Deb said not us we are taking a long lunch at the mall

With his blog and public questions he has shown all our flaws
every mistep every coverup from Herb to the new regulations for the lobby laws

Our recent investigations into lobbyists and imputed gifts are pure bullshit

brought on orders from on high which we follow because we’re nitwits

At the end of the day not a single case will we make
all we will do is send letters telling targets they have been warned the whole process is so fake

 

Except DiBlasio and the Campaign for One New York

Once we identify all it’s donors Bill D we shall pork

 

It’s amazing to watch how much effort we spend

On the DiBlasio case every rule we will bend

 

But when it comes to Percocco,  Kalyeros and the rest

Agata decides he's not up to the test

 

The feds have a wire in a bar on Dove Street

Yet Agata ignores all 2^nd floor corruption that falls at his feet

 

Agata will chase dead senators families job offers

But totally ignores who fills Cuomo’s daughters summer coffers

 

How can hiring the grown child of a senator be wrong

When Evan Stavisky uses his mom in every pitch song

 

The JJOKE elves have been shown to want to defund the not for profits

Why is Martin still working after all his fascist bullshit

 

Am I the only one that thought he looked like a mini-me

On Agata’s shoulder he perched at the hearing for all to see

 

As Agata did his best Al Franken impersonation

Seymor Knox left no doubt he is an ethics abomination

 

For 4 years he has been on JCOPE

And the first time he speaks he sounds like a complete dope

 

Renee Roth waits 3 years to declare

She had no idea what lobbyists file, what a waste of a commission chair

 

Dawn Smalls did her part to protect her law firm

What will she do when they have to register before the end of her term

 

McLaughlin is new he sat on the dais mute as a choate

Back home he is known as a reliable dull vote

The fact that his wife works for the senate is another conflict turn the page

Between him, Agata and Renzi there is plenty of spousal leverage

 

Those lobby regulations that they are touting

Will never be passed lobbyists are shouting

 

An Article 78 will be brought to shit can the whole mess

The Lobby statute only authorizes opinions not regs how did Martin ever pass his bar test

 

Grandeau continues to harass every JJOKER except LT

What did she do to keep him from cutting her off at the knee

 

There is a rumor about that all that it took

Was her batting her eyes and giving him a quick look

 

Not at her package that would be far too crass

She just kept him in the loop so he didn’t take a bite out of her ass

 

Now Agata is a completely different type

His actions don’t square with all his good guy hype

 

He’s shown he is a bullshitter

Put there only to protect the gov’s flanks and hind quarter


The sooner Agata quits
We can stop seeing Grandeau throw his blog fits

No matter what actions the Joke takes

Grandeau keeps thriving on NY’s ethics mistakes

As he drives past our building in a new car or sleigh
that’s been paid for from business that we’ve sent his way

We’ve made it easy for him to represent new clients
as we sit up here like a bunch of spoiled tyrants

I heard him exclaim as he beeped and drove off on his way to go dine
Merry Christmas to my JCOPE informants to the rest of you its time to resign