Ebenezer Scrooge hot line (212)812-8934

(212)812-8934

 

 

That’s the number to dial if Ellen and Janet ducked your calls.  When the phone is answered ask for Commissioner Dan Horwitz.  But be nice this is one mean dude and you don’t want to get on his bad side.

 

I’ve been told when it comes to compassion this guy make Ebenezer Scrooge look like Kris Kringle.

 

But he is real smart so it’s worth your time to ask him under the new business relationship guidelines why board members of lobby clients  who have relationships that would be reportable if they where lobbyists are now going to subject the organizations whose boards they serve on to the new disclosure requirements as a result of the board members PERSONAL activities.

 

While you’re speaking with Dan ask him why the lawyers that did the training didn’t know the basic requirements of lobby registration.

 

If Dan won’t answer your question, tomorrow I’ll post Uncle Vinnie’s number.  After that we can try some legislative appointees if nothing else you can ask how they voted on the most recent investigations.

Twas the night before Biben (day 9)

Getting near the end  and thanks to those readers that have suggested rhymes for the poem   I need to rhyme how the new director of training has stage fright and calls in sick everytime she needs to perform  any help including her name would be appreciated.

Twas the night before Biben 

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the JOKE

No NYC staffers were working the Beaver office Sandy did smoke

 

Work from home Biben did declare

No one is watching no one will care

 

Biben’s posse stayed home secure in their nest

The Public Officers Law they thought only applies to the rest

 

Barry was gone to Tax he did flee

Turns out the 2^nd floor kept its promise to him which is more than they did for me

 

Meet with Biben I was asked see if you can stop being a jerk

So to New York I did trek thinking maybe this time it will work

 

The meeting went well, filled with good will and true emotion

Little did I know that Biben was  a tool the governor controlled and would soon put into motion

 

She asked who she could trust from the old lobby commission

I gave her three names, people I assured her would make for an easy transition

 

It didn’t take too long for one of my blogs to upset Ellen

So she fired a third of my people and treated them as if they were felons

 

Now I’m not a stranger to downsizing, especially in a crunch 

Take a look at my list, I’ll take credit for a bunch

 

No more Ralphie or Bridget someone else had to get Terri

Jeanine is still there but not Bob, Scott or the wooden Indian named Larry

 

But Ellen you got rid of the best to keep Fern and the rest of your mob

Look at all the new hires who kissed your ass at their last job

 

As a result JJoke now has a lawyer named Rob who walked into a closet

And a PHD named Kitty who  insists on being called a chief economist

 

Let’s not forget Ellen that you rehired Sharri on Uncle Vinny’s say so

And brought on Monica who does more whispering than anyone since Marcel Marceau

 

And you’ve now got one of Serph’s angels, Letizia is her name

To handle your political laison cause investigations just ain’t her game

 

You’ve been at it a year with nothing to show

The press is so bad its clear Milgram is no pro

 

When all else fails do what you do best

Have Monica call a staff meeting you must quell the unrest

 

With their heads filled with nothing cause their dopes one and all

Jeanine and Deb said not us we’re taking a long lunch at the mall

 

When all of a sudden the phone it did ring

DiFiore and Horowitz were calling  “The governors upset its become quite disturbing”

JJOKE customer service phone number.(914)224-7238

(914)224-7238

 

JJOKE customer service phone number. 

 

If you had no luck reaching Ellen Biben at the number posted yesterday a helpful reader has provided me more JJOKE commissioner phone numbers.  And in the interest of helping you get answers to any questions you have about JJOKE I’m going to pass them along.

 

Now I haven’t called all of these myself so I’m not positive they will work but the reader was in a position to have used them and did so I think they are reliable.

 

Keep in mind that there is a definite hierarchy of who can answer your questions about JJOKE and I gave you the top person in Ellen (I guess if I had the governor’s number that really would be the person in charge) so in descending order try Chairperson Janet DiFiore at (914)224-7238.  If she’s not too busy putting quarters in the meter she might be willing to help you understand the training session that JJOKE held today.

 

I’m going to blog separately about how many mistakes the lawyers doing the training made but for now if you have a question call Ellen if she doesn’t answer you can try Janet.

 

After that I think Commissioner Dan Horowitz would be your best bet.   I’ll give you his number tomorrow

Twas the night before Biben (day 8)

Here's day 8 and let me welcome all the new readers who have joined as a result of retweets and the poem being mentioned by Liz Benjamin.  Every day a new stanza and we will have the whole poem posted by the next JJOKE meeting

Twas the night before Biben 

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the JOKE

No NYC staffers were working the Beaver office Sandy did smoke

 

Work from home Biben did declare

No one is watching no one will care

 

Biben’s posse stayed home secure in their nest

The Public Officers Law they thought only applies to the rest

 

Barry was gone to Tax he did flee

Turns out the 2^nd floor kept its promise to him which is more than they did for me

 

Meet with Biben I was asked see if you can stop being a jerk

So to New York I did trek thinking maybe this time it will work

 

The meeting went well, filled with good will and true emotion

Little did I know that Biben was  a tool the governor controlled and would soon put into motion

 

She asked who she could trust from the old lobby commission

I gave her three names, people I assured her would make for an easy transition

 

It didn’t take too long for one of my blogs to upset Ellen

So she fired a third of my people and treated them as if they were felons

 

Now I’m not a stranger to downsizing, especially in a crunch 

Take a look at my list, I’ll take credit for a bunch

 

No more Ralphie or Bridget someone else had to get Terri

Jeanine is still there but not Bob, Scott or the wooden Indian named Larry

 

But Ellen you got rid of the best to keep Fern and the rest of your mob

Look at all the new hires who kissed your ass at their last job

 

As a result JJoke now has a lawyer named Rob who walked into a closet

And a PHD named Kitty who  insists on being called a chief economist

 

Let’s not forget Ellen that you rehired Sharri on Uncle Vinny’s say so

And brought on Monica who does more whispering than anyone since Marcel Marceau

 

And you’ve now got one of Serph’s angels, Letizia is her name

To handle your political laison cause investigations just ain’t her game

 

You’ve been at it a year with nothing to show

The press is so bad its clear Milgram is no pro

 

When all else fails do what you do best

Have Monica call a staff meeting you must quell the unrest

CALL (917) 608-5025 TO ANSWER ALL YOUR JJOKE QUESTIONS

(917) 608-5025

 

That’s the number to call if you have any questions about JJOKE’s new emergency regulations for source of funding.

 

I’ve got a simple step by step analysis for my clients explaining if they need to disclose the source of their funding on the next client semiannual report, but no matter how much I simplify it they all seem to want to know why the regulations are written the way they are.

 

The questions run the gamut from why are they doing it now (the Ravi Batra camp) to why are they requiring the disclosure of people’s identity who specifically request that there donations not be used for lobbying (the Marvin Jacobs camp).  And these are all good questions that I can not answer.

 

I can explain what the law says, I can explain what the proposed regulations state, I can explain what the emergency regulations state I can even with some certainty explain the reason the statute was passed.  But when it comes to the why of how the law is being implemented by JJOKE I’ve got no clue.

 

I think the best person to answer those questions is the head of JJOKE Ellen Biben.

 

So instead of calling me on my cell phone call Ellen on her cell phone the number is (917) 608-5025

 

And I like the idea of promoting direct dialogue between the lobbying community and JJOKE so much I’m going to give everyone a gift and find as many personal cell phone numbers of JJOKE commissioners and staff as possible and post them in the coming days.

 

Think of it as a holiday gift.

Twas the night before Biben (Day 7)

Twas the night before Biben 

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the JOKE

No NYC staffers were working the Beaver office Sandy did smoke

 

Work from home Biben did declare

No one is watching no one will care

 

Biben’s posse stayed home secure in their nest

The Public Officers Law they thought only applies to the rest

 

Barry was gone to Tax he did flee

Turns out the 2^nd floor kept its promise to him which is more than they did for me

 

Meet with Biben I was asked see if you can stop being a jerk

So to New York I did trek thinking maybe this time it will work

 

The meeting went well, filled with good will and true emotion

Little did I know that Biben was  a tool the governor controlled and would soon put into motion

 

She asked who she could trust from the old lobby commission

I gave her three names, people I assured her would make for an easy transition

 

It didn’t take too long for one of my blogs to upset Ellen

So she fired a third of my people and treated them as if they were felons

 

Now I’m not a stranger to downsizing, especially in a crunch 

Take a look at my list, I’ll take credit for a bunch

 

No more Ralphie or Bridget someone else had to get Terri

Jeanine is still there but not Bob, Scott or the wooden Indian named Larry

 

But Ellen you got rid of the best to keep Fern and the rest of your mob

Look at all the new hires who kissed your ass at their last job

 

As a result JJoke now has a lawyer named Rob who walked into a closet

And a PHD named Kitty who  insists on being called a chief economist

 

Let’s not forget Ellen that you rehired Sharri on Uncle Vinny’s say so

And brought on Monica who does more whispering than anyone since Marcel Marceau

Twas the night before Biben (day 6)

  Day 6 we are halfway home

Twas the night before Biben 

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the JOKE

No NYC staffers were working the Beaver office Sandy did smoke

 

Work from home Biben did declare

No one is watching no one will care

 

Biben’s posse stayed home secure in their nest

The Public Officers Law they thought only applies to the rest

 

Barry was gone to Tax he did flee

Turns out the 2^nd floor kept its promise to him which is more than they did for me

 

Meet with Biben I was asked see if you can stop being a jerk

So to New York I did trek thinking maybe this time it will work

 

The meeting went well, filled with good will and true emotion

Little did I know that Biben was  a tool the governor controlled and would soon put into motion

 

She asked who she could trust from the old lobby commission

I gave her three names, people I assured her would make for an easy transition

 

It didn’t take too long for one of my blogs to upset Ellen

So she fired a third of my people and treated them as if they were felons

 

Now I’m not a stranger to downsizing, especially in a crunch 

Take a look at my list, I’ll take credit for a bunch

 

No more Ralphie or Bridget someone else had to get Terri

Jeanine is still there but not Bob, Scott or the wooden Indian named Larry

 

But Ellen you got rid of the best to keep Fern and the rest of your mob

Look at all the new hires who kissed your ass at their last job