Thursday, December 31, 2015


It took JJOKE 2 years to stick a fork in this one.

I gave the public a solution to Public Officials acting like drunken frat boys in December of . . . 2013

Does anyone really believe Lopez and Grabass are the only 2 pigs in the capital?

But it was nice to see that JJOKE does understand the misuse of public property for personal gain being a violation of the public officers law.

Do you think they will ever apply that standard to the governor and his book deal and  book promotion?

How about just applying it to the governors staff emails?

Any government employee, male or female, that feels they are being sexually harassed should immediately notify JJOKE.

In fact any government employee, male or female, that gets invited to lunch, or for drinks or for a nooner should immediately notify JJOKE.

Can you imagine how busy JJOKE would be?

JJOKE the guardians of the states sexual ethics.

As long as it keeps them busy so they don't have time to do the job they were created for.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Why should we make the legislature full time much less give them a raise?

Common Cause has finally provided something of value to the ethics reform debate.

We've been hearing rumblings that part of ethics reform should be to ban outside income, make the legislature full time and pay them more.

My initial reaction was such a plan is the exact opposite of what you should do.  I believed that the vast majority of the elected officials could never find another job, much less one that paid them more and the less time they spent working as legislators the better off we all would be.

But that was just my gut reaction, my opinion.  Not supported by facts just my experience.

But now Susan Lerner and Common Cause have provided me the data to prove my point.

Read it here  I'm not sure if Casey's reporting is original or plagerized from the Common Cause press release but here is the important fact.

"Common Cause New York’s analysis of outside income for members of the state Legislature finds that of all those sitting lawmakers elected before the 2014 cycle (183 of the total of 213 legislators), about 60 percent (110) don’t make anything on the side"


Let Preet keep putting the greedy ones in jail and tell the rest if they want more money quit and get a real job.

I'm sure most could get jobs selling fake rolexs and handbags on Queens Blvd.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Twas the night rhyme

Twas the night before Preet put an end to JJOKE 


Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the JOKE

No staffers were working since they all thought Gagan was a moke


All opinions must wait for the commissioners to decide

But until Andy tells Horowitz what to do they are just along for the ride


Biben’s posse has been kicked out of their nest

All except Monica who with her spot in the lifeboat secured she said to hell with the rest


Biben was gone a judgeship Andy did give thee

Who do they think they are kidding her and DiFiore are two nuts from the same tree


Gagan’s appointment will prove to all that the JOKE is being run

By a governor who is shoveling ethics bullshit by the ton


With two leaders off to jail

It’s no wonder Andy looks pale


Now the word is out

And Preet has begun to shout


Indict, indict, Shelly and Dean have been found guilty

Everyone thinks Andy’s next but I’m betting on Heastie


And while Preet empties Albany into jail cells

JJOKE meets to debate if tweeting deserves a sentence in lobby hell


But it doesn’t matter anymore JJOKE has been exposed

Just a bunch of ass clowns jumping thru hoops and doing as they are told


I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I’ve drawn a line in the sand 

When people don’t do the job I’ll do all that I can to get them shitcanned


I applied for the top job but I can’t even get an interview let me assure you I’m pissed

If you have any doubts just look at my list


I’ve retired more JJOKERS than social security

When faced with my blog most JJOKERS decide just to flee


Andy can keep giving judgeships to hacks like Ellen and DiFiore, the grinch

This year I’m focusing on Cavullo and Levine but will settle for Dawn Smalls in a pinch


Let’s not forget LT hired Harford and Hamilton on Gagan’s say so

Who she brought in at $165000 with hopes he’ll get to run the show.


So now we’ve got one of Andy’s hind lickers

Kevin is his name

He thinks he is the top dog now

But once he gets the nod I’ll add him to my list of those who can take the blame


It took LT six months to get herself appointed

It will take longer than that for Andy to get Gagan anointed


Many calls I did get from cops who are Gagan’s foes

This guy Gagan’s a wimp it will take only one blow


Kevin has refused to speak with me on more than one occasion

I’ve seen this before when Ginsberg was the answer to the equation


Let me try one last time to be helpful

In this Holiday season

Your staff can’t stand you except for Martin, John and Stacy Hamilton



When all else fails do what past leaders did best

Have Monica call a staff meeting you must quell the unrest


With their heads filled with nothing cause their dopes one and all

Jeanine and Deb said not us we’re taking a long lunch at the mall


Jeanine has the right to go to the mall since she retired and only works part time

But $30k for one day a week should be a crime


When all of a sudden the phone it did ring

Its Horowitz calling “The governors upset it’s become quite disturbing”


What I can do, Gagan nervously stammered

Shut the fuck up, no more interviews with Bragg you must have been hammered


It wasn’t my fault Gagan wimpered and pleaded

Grandeau tricked me and made me think the press needed to be feeded


So here’s some advice Kevin, so you don’t join the long line

Of clueless ethics cops Grandeau has forced to resign


Lest we forget I got Herb and then I got  Barry

I got Biben as well and LT left because it got scary


And so I heard him exclaim as he flew through the sky

Gagan’s not the answer you know I must try


With a prod and a poke

To get Preet to investigate JJOKE



Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Hey JJOKE #AmIalobbyist? or #youareidiots or #justresign

So here we are in the corruption capital of the United States and our ethics agency holds it's monthly do nothing meeting.

No recognition that the two legislative leaders were just convicted of public corruption by federal authorities while JJOKE continues to try to figure out what it is they should be doing.

No attempt to communicate to the public that there is nothing to worry about because JJOKE is there to be the state's ethical compass.


The opinions they have been working on since this summer don't appear any closer to being voted on.  They just keep being revised to suit the needs of the second floor  oops the regulated community.  It looks an awful lot like they can't muster the votes.   You have to be brain dead not to have been able to see that one coming.

But have no fear.  Out ethics watchdog is chomping at the leash to stake out a position on . . .  tweeting.

I swear to god Martin Levine spent 20 minutes trying to explain why tweeting could be lobbying.  And how his 4 year old son has told him it is beyond his skill set.

I've seen how bad JJOKE is at getting these commissioners connected remotely you don't have to prove how incompetent JJOKE is when it comes to technology.

But rather than watch JJOKE struggle with their tweeting opinion for 6 months.

Let me see if I can help . . . it's been a long time since I wrote an opinion on lobbying but if you really feel you need one on social media try this.

The use of social media to attempt to influence the introduction of legislation or the passage yada yada yada is lobbying.

It wasn't that hard was it?

I'm going to tweet how stupid JJOKE is I hope a legislator reads it and introduces a bill abolishing JJOKE.  I hope it gets retweeted a 100000 times.  Now if you think I spent over $5000 to tweet come and get me JJOKE I'd love the diversion.


When do consultants need to register as lobbyists?

It's on todays meeting agenda.

Does anyone want to bet on if Martin Levine can explain what the term "meaningful involvement" means in the real world?

Do you think any of the commissioners actually understand what the opinion does or is intended to do or what consequences it will have?

Come on down to the meeting and see how many lawyers it takes to truly screw up an issue.

Added bonus if Kevin Gagan actually speaks.

Monday, December 14, 2015

JJOKE needs a Preet

It has been over 4 months since LT quit as the head of JJOKE.  Got herself a job at Tax just like previous JJOKE (PIC) head disaster Barry Ginsberg and left us with the parting gift of Cuomo uber hack and Chief of incompetent Staff Kevin "I want to be boss because Andy told me to" Gagan  $165944 and the self involved pair of Gaganites John Harford $132000 and former LT classmate and buddy Stacey Hamilton $120000.  By the way what else do Harford and Hamilton share other than a connection to Gagan and long lunch hours?  Stay tuned I'm running those rumors down and will keep you apprised.  Remember Kevin, John and Stacey people are watching . . . all the time.

Four months and still no news on a new boss at JJOKE.  Every meeting we get an update from some committee on JJOKE, the search committee? or the national search committee? or the lets wait until we get new legislative appointed commissioners search committee.  I don't know about the rest of the applicants that JJOKE has previously said weren't good enough (how did you feel about that snub Kevin?) but I haven't been contacted for an interview.   Even after they give you the job next year you will always be known as the Cuomo hack that wasn't good enough for the rest of the Cuomo hacks)

When I met with Martin Levine to talk about his consultant opinion I asked him if he was surprised I hadn't been interviewed.  He looked shocked, not that I hadn't been interviewed but that I actually thought I would be.  He said why do you think they would interview you after you've spent the last three years attacking them personally? 

Now it was my turn to be shocked  what did my opinion about how bad these commissioners and staff are have to do with who should be the next person to run JJOKE?

I asked Martin if he knew of anyone who knew more about the Lobby Act and ethics laws in New York and was as independent as I was?

Silence, he didn't have a name.

Is Gagan more qualified?

Now here is why Martin is one of the few good ones at JJOKE.  He asked me what are the qualifications?

And that got me thinking why haven't the commissioners at JJOKE told us what they are really looking for?

Now I doubt they even know themselves or have thought about it but tomorrow each and every one of them should in public session when the topic comes up on the agenda speak out and tell the public what they are looking for.   It is the absolute least they can do.

As "ethics reform" returns to Albany like a $2 hooker to planned parenthood looking for another abortion to solve the problem, we should just take a deep breath and realize the most important "ethics reform" is about to take place at JJOKE, as they select the next executive director. 

It's always been about the people no matter how often the Governor tells us about historic reform and the most transparency in the history of government. 

You want transparency?  get the JJOKE commissioners to answer questions in public.  That's the only reason I want to be interviewed.  I have lots of questions to ask in that interview and I will insist on the press and public being able to be there as witnesses.

But here is a good start for the JJOKE crowd that has done such a terrible job of being the ethics watchdog over the last 4 years. 


After reading, every commissioner that believes that have the guts to stand up in front of the media and talk about the state of ethics and corruption in New York should.  The other 14 must resign!!!!

I'd even settle for any commissioner telling us  how JJOKE has helped curb corruption in the corruption capital.

Hell I'd even take a conversation about Cuomo's book deal and promotion thereof using state resources.

I'd even settle for Emily Logue $101959 (she's a JJOKE lawyer investigating the topic of using state resources for private gain) getting off her high horse and looking at Cuomo using his state office to promote his book.  Or if that is too sensitive Emily try asking Walter McClure $78752 about an email he received from the official email account of the executive chamber inviting him to a holiday party and toy drive being hosted by . . . get ready . . . the NEW YORK STATE DEMOCRATIC PARTY.

There you are Emily or Kevin or Dan or any other JJOKER that claims to be independent and investigating corruption no matter where the facts lead them.

I'll bet you are surprised Kevin "I want to be boss because Andy told me to" Gagan  $165944 that you didn't know about that little gem.  I'll bet Walter McClure $78752 never thought of himself as a witness to corruption (other than being in on the executive sessions).  I would have told you sooner but as you said we have nothing to talk about.

JJOKE sticks their collective heads in the sand and ends up looking up each others asses.

As for the rest of us we are left to listen to the same old same old bullshit on ethics.  I don't know about you but it brings this song to mind, which I'd rather listen to any day of the week.

If you dropped enough acid would Renee Roth ever remind you of Lauryn Hill?  Which would of course make Dan Horwitz . . . Wycliff Jean

How's that for a bad acid trip

Friday, December 11, 2015

Gagan and I have nothing to talk about

I feel like I just got stood up on a date.

LT has been telling me for weeks I have to give Gagan a chance, she is vouching for him and I should get to know him. have a cup of coffee, be nice to him since he is having a rough time of it.

And I have tried.  I call him but he will not take my call.

I stop in and invite him for coffee, he has a staffer tell me he will not talk to me without LT being present (how weird is that?  it's like he is a little kid that needs his sister to go to the prom with him).

Ordinarily I would just chalk it up to his just not being in to me, in that regard he would be no different than other former superstars of ethics officials Barry Ginsberg or Mike Cherkasky or Herb Teitelbaum (actually Teitelbaum used to have coffee with me before he started covering up for Spitzer) anyway I can deal with JJOKE staffers that either are afraid of me or just plain don't like me but I think Gagan is a different kind of cat.  I'm getting a strong whiff of bully mixed with his wimpyness,  And yesterday proved it for me.

I was at JJOKE dropping off documents when who walks into reception?  Kevin Gagan!!! 

Me: Hey Kev lets grab a coffee.

Him: I don't drink coffee

Me: No problem I'll get you a cup of tea . . . or hot cocoa if you prefer.

Him: Zip he just ignores me and walks into the conference room and closes the door.

2 minutes later he emerges pulling Chief Investigator Patrick Coultrie along on a leash like a whipped dog

Me: Comeon Kev let's make a date and get to know one another we have a lot to talk about

Him: We have nothing to discuss

and out of the room he goes

Nothing to discuss?


We have both applied for the same job.  I'm qualified and you're not how about we discuss that?

We could talk about those two high paid staffers you brought with you and how close they really are to one another.  Only a really bad manager purposely puts himself in that position.

We could talk about those draft opinions you and your boys wrote on campaign contributions and consultants  I might be able to show you how little you truly know about the Lobby Act

Or we could talk about your investigating your buddy the governors book deal.

Or we could talk about the misuse of state resources to benefit another (you don't see that one coming but you will soon)

Or we could talk about why you left the State Police (I'm getting lots of anonymous emails about you.)

Or we could talk about your financial disclosure report.  Specifically why a guy whose wife must be worth Billions, that's right with a B Billions, is so hung up on getting a job that only pays $160000 and which he is going to be terrible at. 

How do I know Kevin Gagan's wife is worth Billions? 

Because he said so on his own financial disclosure report in 2011.

His wife Mary Jeanne Hetzler Gagan, who is a consultant for NTT Data (I wonder if they have state contracts?) owns 100% of the stock of Microsoft, Cisco, Dell and Nokia.

Wow that is one rich chick.

Now of course she doesn't own 100% but Kevin made a mistake in filling out his financial disclosure form.

That doesn't make him a bad person it just means he isn't the right person to run JCOPE.

It's the same as getting parking tickets in your official County vehicle.  Wrong for JCOPE but maybe Gagan can be named to the Court of Appeals.

I've never had coffee with anyone on the Court of Appeals so you would be safe there Kev.

So that there is no confusion Kevin I now officially put you in the same category as Teitelbaum, Ginsberg and Biben.   Let's see how long you last.  Don't mess up people are watching and you have lots of enemies, trust me lots.

I'd tell you who but we have nothing to talk about.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Dick Dadey has a short . . . memory

PreDICKtably DICK Dadey is all over the news saying this is the moment for ethics reform.  It's our Watergate moment.  What a DICK!!!

Since DICK can't seem to remember all the times he and his friends have DICKed up ethics reform and since it appears to be okay to just say the same things over and over again I've listed a selection of previous blog posts on the subject rather than writing anything new.

I do have 2 constructive suggestions for the governor and the legislature if they want to take a step in the right direction and avoid more criminal prosecutions:

First, hire me to review your financial disclosure reports and provide you ethical guidance.  Pay for it from your campaign accounts and think of it as insurance or an ethical bullet proof vest.  I've been pitching this idea for years and a couple of legislators now former legislators have been honest enough to tell me that most electeds don't even want their wives to know their financial dealings (I get it)

But that brings me to point 2.

Simple fix to the disclosure requirements and one I would advise all legislators to do voluntarily right now.  ATTACH YOUR TAX RETURN TO YOU FINANCIAL DISCLOSURE DOCUMENT.  No question about where the income is coming from and conflicts would be disclosed for all to see.  Of course those that don't want to disclose their tax returns are probably the same ones that don't want to hire me to do their financial disclosure forms.

Thank god DICK Dadey is their to protect us.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

DiFiore named Chief Judge it's a good thing I don't ever appear before the Court of Appeals

But really what was Andy thinking?  This is the best we can do?

In case anyone has forgotten she was a complete disaster as Chair of JJOKE

A disaster.

But the Albany media is good at forgetting the past so that it can report the present and be outraged in the future.